4

Puerto Rican Nationalists Attack America Over and Over

US Army

Though Puerto Rico is technically an unincorporated territory, the Puerto Rican Independence Movement had a number of differing opinions about this state of affairs. Some factions within the movement were a bit more shooty than others, and they liked to spell out their complaints in bullets on the walls of the nation's capital.

Library of Congress
"If they don't understand Spanish, we'll talk to them in American!"

Not that they weren't cool with fighting on their home turf, too. The first major attack on the U.S. by Puerto Rican nationalists was the Jayuya uprising on Oct. 30, 1950, a bona fide revolt where armed nationalists opened fire on the National Guard and police forces. It probably doesn't need to be said that the U.S. forces weren't exactly saints in this situation. The fighting got bad enough that air strikes were called in to help quell the rebellion. Yes, the U.S. actually bombed a U.S. Territory, to the extent that a good 70 percent of the city of Jayuya was leveled.

3

Israel Attacks a Peaceful U.S. Navy Ship

US Navy

2

Cultists Murder a U.S. Congressman and His Entire Entourage

Fielding McGehee, Rebecca Moore/Wiki Commons

Congressman Leo Ryan had a reputation as something of an adventurer. He was a man of bravado and confidence, like the Indiana Jones of politics. Once, he was concerned about conditions in prisons, so he ordered himself imprisoned to see how bad it really was. When confronted with the issue of seal hunting, he traveled to Canada and sat down on the ice between fur hunters and baby harp seals. He had a cold taint but a warm heart. Or perhaps just a really keen publicist. Who's to say?

U.S. House of Representatives
He used his hair to shield the seals from the hunters' clubs.

In 1978, Ryan was preparing for another of his famous fact-finding trips. He had received word of a suspicious death, occurring after the deceased person had severed ties with a religious sect based in Guyana. So Ryan grabbed a TV crew, jumped in a plane, and set off to find out what the deal was with this Jim Jones guy.

Yep, you see where this is going.

Ryan gave Jonestown a look, spoke with some of the people there, and when a number of them wished to leave, did the compassionate thing and agreed to take them aboard his plane. Jones did not particularly like this plan. What's a crazy cult leader without a crazy cult? Jones had his men follow Ryan to the airstrip. They opened fire, killing Ryan, three journalists, and one evacuee. Several others were injured.

Jonestown Institute
"I offered to explain things to Ryan over some Kool-Aid, but he wouldn't listen."

1

Germany Blows up a U.S. Railroad While the Countries Are at Peace

Liberty State Park

For most of WWI, the United States was perfectly fine with being neutral, which made it easy for America to do what it does best: sell guns. Germany had a problem: they were totally blockaded by the British Royal Navy, meaning that all those sweet freedom-sticks were ending up in the hands of the British and French. So the Germans hatched a daring plan to deal with a train full of munitions bound for the British and French.

The plan was to make said train go boom. On American soil.

Liberty State Park
Like so.

It all went down on a tiny island called Black Tom, which served as a shipping and railroad center in Jersey City, just across the bay from New York and the Statue of Liberty. On July 30, 1916, German agents planted a bomb in a railway car full of explosives, and things got Michael Bay in a hurry. The blast destroyed windows up to 25 miles away. Seven were killed, and hundreds were wounded. The structural integrity of the Statue of Liberty -- all the way across the bay from the explosion, remember -- was so badly damaged that its arm was closed to the public and was never reopened.

Yes, a secret German bombing in 1916 is why you can't moon God from Lady Liberty's torch.

Dept of Agriculture
Or take hilarious photos where it looks like she's lighting your fart.

Since it wasn't entirely clear at first what caused the explosion, and Germany didn't raise its hand when America politely asked if anybody blew up part of the country, the Black Tom explosion was thought to be a tragic accident for decades. It wasn't until 1939 that a commission established that Germany was responsible -- and by that time, a number of even better reasons to punch a German cropped up. But don't go thinking it was an unproven assumption or anything: Germany sheepishly paid for compensation back in the 1950s.

Which prompts the question: if they paid for the damages, why is the damn arm not fixed? The people need answers; their cheeks must feel the winds of freedom.

For more things that we sort of glossed over, check out 5 Forgotten Revolutions That Created The Modern World and 5 Important People Who Were Screwed Out of History Books.

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