But Curko isn't the only cannibal who ordered his meals online. In 2001, Armin Meiwes lived in the small town of Rotenburg, in the huge mansion left to him by his devoted, domineering mother. Like Curko, he was well-liked by his neighbors and considered a normal, if somewhat quiet and reclusive, guy. He'd always found it hard to form lasting relationships, and so decided to try his luck online in his search for "someone to be part of me."
Unfortunately he meant that literally, and went looking for friends on a website called The Cannibal Cafe. Advertising his desire to hook up with a "young well-built man, who wanted to be eaten," Meiwes eventually made a love connection with 43-year-old engineer from Berlin, Bernd Brandes.
Berlin builder, Bernd Brandes, before becoming blind beau butcher's baked brisket.
Meiwes had apparently found a twisted soulmate in Brandes, who readily accepted the dinner invitation and made the trip out to Meiwes's mansion. After the awkward, foot-shuffling introductions were made, Brandes popped 20 sleeping pills and washed them down with some schnapps while Miewes prepared the "meal," which in this case was his victim's penis, which Miewes haphazardly chopped off with a butcher's knife.
It only gets worse from there: After Brandes attempted to take the first bite (of his own goddamn dick), he found it "too tough and chewy," so Miewes sauteed it up a bit with a little wine and garlic. He apparently wasn't much of a dick chef, however, and burned it to the point it was inedible, or at least less appetizing than one would normally consider freshly severed human cockmeat. Not one to be wasteful, the ever-considerate Miewes then cut up Brandes's penis into chunks and fed it to his dog.
via Daily Caller
"He ate the kibbles and bits."
After a few hours, Brandes was still barely clinging to life from blood loss, so Miewes gave him a kiss and stabbed him in the neck. Once Brandes was finally dead, Miewes hung him on a meathook in a specially designed "slaughter room" and carved him into Fogo de Chao-sized serving portions for later consumption, which he stored in a freezer. He later described it as tasting like pork.
Eventually, Miewes began running out of meat and went back online to find another willing victim, at which point someone turned him into the authorities and he was arrested. Denying that he was a murderer, he instead professed his unorthodox love for Brandes with statements such as: "I killed a man, slaughtered him and ate him. Since then, he is always with me," and that "he died a beautiful death." As a bonus, Brandes spoke good English, and since eating him Miewes claims his English has improved.
E. Reid Ross is a columnist at Man Cave Daily. If you want more slices of his delicious man meat, you can also follow him on Twitter here.
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