The service seeks to make your death experience as realistic as possible. After writing down your last words, you're sealed in a coffin with a white sheet draped over you. There's no mention of a funeral, though it seems like that would be the best part, hearing people bemoan your loss from inside your own coffin. Maybe bring in some celebrity impersonators so that you can hear Samuel L. Jackson call you the coolest dude in the world? We're just throwing out suggestions here.
After a few minutes of playing dead, the next stage of the process involves simulating your reincarnation by playing the sound of a crying baby as the coffin lid is pulled open and you're released back into the world, presumably now stress-free. Or at least with some new perspective on your own mortality, which we admit everyone could use. It's harder to get enraged about somebody cutting you off in traffic if you remember you could be attending your own funeral instead. And have you ever seen a stressed-out vampire?
"Can't sleep, garlic everywhere."
One psychological consultant at the clinic says that he knows it works because he tried it himself, and over 1,000 people to date have apparently paid for the privilege, so there must be some good word of mouth. Here's hoping at least one of those patients started moaning "BRAINS!" and biting the staff the moment they emerged.
T. O'Sullivan is a pseudonym for Wolf Steelmaster. Nathan Murphy wants your bizarre tweets on Twitter as they're how he relaxes. Sam Jackson sings his violent ballads for followers on Facebook and Twitter. Also, check out his friend Richard Jessee's music video.
For more odd cures that actually kind of aren't that dumb, check out 5 Creepy Medical Treatments That Actually Work and 4 New Depression Treatments You Won't Believe Actually Work.
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