This whole weaponized phallic footwear thing started thanks to one man, known as "Cesar of Huizache," who just showed up at a cobbler's shop and requested boots with curly, 3-foot-long toes. Since the customer is always right (even if they're clearly not right in the head), the cobbler made the boots. Cesar then went out dancing with them, and the rest is confusing, imbalanced history.
Associated Press/Dario Lopez-Mills
Nothing's hotter than guys trapped in a Jigsaw torture device while still shaking what mama gave them.
Look, we know "this guy showed up and wanted them and everybody else thought it was great for reasons you cannot comprehend" isn't the best origin story, but sometimes reality is disappointing. If it makes you feel any better, you can pretend the dude had crippling toe gigantism or something.