If ads have taught us anything about athletics, it's that all you need to do is pop open a bowl of Official Sponsor cereal and slide on your Official Sponsor shoes to transform into an Olympic-level competitor. It's a tried and true method: "Best Sports Guy uses our product, and he is the Best Sports Guy! Use our product, too!" But tried and true methods are boring. You know what would really sell shoes? Mocking the disabled. Like Nike did here:
"What do losers and the paralyzed have in common? Neither needs Nikes!"
The words may be a little hard to read when compressed to Internet size, so let's break this thing down:
How can a trail running shoe with an outer sole designed like a goat's hoof help me avoid compressing my spinal cord into a Slinky on the side of some unsuspecting conifer, thereby rendering me a drooling, misshapen non-extreme-trail-running husk of my former self, forced to roam the earth in a motorized wheelchair with my name embossed on one of those cute little license plates you get at carnivals or state fairs, fastened to the back?
Pictured: Immobile, hopeless vegetables.