"Actually, I'm registered Reform Party."
Apparently, this brain-assigned division of population extends to pretty much all aspects of life: Surveys have revealed that the living spaces and workplaces of conservative-minded people reflect structure and order, while those of liberals are more cluttered. Conservatives also appear to be better at blocking out distracting information and focusing on individual issues, but also tend to see the world in black-and-white terms. Meanwhile, liberals are more open to new experiences and better at accepting uncertainty, but also tend to be more scatterbrained.
"But Cracked," you exclaim, clearly unfamiliar with our stance on the brain's true nature. "Surely our brain can't pull a dick move like that. There must be some leeway to the whole business -- there's no way the setup of our brain can always predict everyone's political opinions correctly."
"Never question my ability to pull dick moves."
And you are right. It only works about 83 percent of the time.