We're sorry, that just looks like Satan's dick, and there's nothing we can do about it. It's actually the pink slug, a species recently discovered on Mt. Kaputar in Australia (of course). Due to pure luck, a volcanic eruption 17 million years ago kept a small 4-square-mile area lush and wet, while the rest of Australia slowly turned into the thunderdome known as the Outback. This effectively cut off the area, making it a unique environment for various species to develop in strange ways. For instance, in the form of the Devil's dong.
Yes, Satan has little horns down there. We've studied theology.
While their coloring makes them look like Lucifer's big, swinging tallywacker, or perhaps a piece of chili that mutated and gained sentience after being left at the back of the fridge for too long, scientists believe it may actually serve a purpose. Since they live in the beds of red eucalyptus leaves, it is hypothesized that the slug's coloring is a type of camouflage.
Not pictured: red eucalyptus or camouflage.
As seen above, that theory may not hold up so well, because they also spend a lot of time high on tree trunks. Another possible explanation is that, precisely because they've been isolated for so long, evolution said, "Screw it, I don't give a shit how they look," and they ended up like this. So, basically, when evolution forgets you, the default shape is Beelzebub cock.
More proof that religion and science can coexist.
As for why the researchers who found this thing named it "pink" slug, despite it being redder than Che Guevara's heart, that's a mystery for the ages.
Nick is a law student who hopes that his writing career will save him from the courtroom.
Related Reading: It may be near Christmas, but these animals are already dressed up for Halloween. Although this one caterpillar's Voodoo mask is timeless. For a look at some Animal Rights campaigns who managed to screw over the animals, click here. Dolphin-safe tuna kills everything BUT dolphins. Not done with animals being adorable? Watch how they use our garbage.
Some adorable animals launch horrifying attacks on human beings, let this Cracked video reveal the terrible truth.