It's a piece of filmmaking that makes Triumph of the Will look ambiguous. The boss is bouncing up and down on his squeaky chair while grunting out "So fast... it's working ... I can feel it!"
"It ... it would be rather worrisome if you couldn't."
But it turns out that the man is merely drinking a confusingly named Stacker 2 6 Hour Power, which promises "Extreme energy! Feel it fast! Energy that lasts!" Plot, meet twist. In a final baffling shot, the man stands and declares to his secretary, "Now I'm ready!" For what? Now are you going to f**k your employee?
Exactly what kind of business is this man running?
The company's vice president of marketing claims that if you see anything sexual in this commercial, you're the one who's the sicko. She insists that it's "the theater of the mind" and that the secretary is dressed no differently from any other white-collar office worker.
We have to admire her ability to spew mountains of bullshit with a straight face, but come on. The question isn't what's going on here; it's why they thought this would make anyone buy their drink. What, you chug it and you'll magically get a hummer from a secretary who wandered off the set of a porno? Or does it give you the energy you need to actually have sex? Or are they trying to say that the experience of drinking it is just like getting a blow job? Guys, if that were true, trust us: You wouldn't need to advertise.
Find more from Amanda at her blog and on Twitter, and she would like to thank Codie Martin and A.C. Grimes for their suggestions. Sam would like to thank his friend Jordanna for providing so many awkward screenshots. Find more from him at the Hilltop Views or follow him on Twitter.
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Related Reading: If you prefer your innuendo accidental, these retro ads have what you need. Cartoon kids talking about skinless weiners are pretty terrible, and so are these creepy children's cartoons. Oh hey, and we've got these r-rated Disney easter eggs too.