5
Hugging Your Dog Pisses It Off
Comstock/Comstock/Getty Images
One of the best things about pets is how affectionate they are. For example, Rover will just smash his face into your arm when it's petting time (which, by the way, starts now and ends seconds before the heat death of the universe). Mittens, on the other hand, instinctively knows when you're stressed from taxes, so she'll do her best to distract you by splaying her body across your keyboard, knocking those bad old spreadsheets out of sight and out of mind.
Hemera Technologies/AbleStock.com/Getty Images "Your attempts at productivity will prove futile. You will be broken."
But it turns out that our understanding of pet affection may be a bit flawed. Back in 2010, an innocent-looking children's book called Smooch Your Pooch caused a stir with pet advocacy groups. This book was published to teach little kids about the proper ways to interact with their pets, and by "proper" we actually mean "absolute worst."
Yes, Smooch Your Pooch advocated such a fucktrociously backward model of pet stewardship that the American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior drew up a press release regarding the book, which can be succinctly summarized as "NO NO NO NO."
Amazon.com It was the first book to earn this kind of condemnation since Head-Butt Your Pit Bull, He Can Take It.
You see, hugging, kissing, or getting your face too close to a dog's face is going to make that dog mad. Even the most good-natured, kid-friendly dogs are still animals, and -- like any other animal -- they can become annoyed or frightened when you smother them with claustrophobic affection. But don't tell that to the author of Smooch Your Pooch, who instructed wee ones to hug their dogs "anytime, anywhere" ...
Hand them a steak and then tear it away, dogs love that shit!
2905 Comments