A machine that spins pregnant women around in rapid circles, until the baby gets the idea and flies out into the net strapped across its mother's nether regions.
Being pregnant is already scary enough without having to be strapped into a spinning carnival ride. Everything about this patent gives us the impression that George B. and Charlotte E. Blonsky should never be allowed anywhere near pregnant women, or people in general. And now a serious question we don't want to know the answer to: Which one of them posed for this drawing?
U.S. Patent Office
Neither of them. It's a volunteer model they kidnapped off the street.
The patent says it's designed for "more civilized women," as opposed to those brutes who somehow give birth to babies without first spinning around in a giant fetus-shooting cyclotron. Obviously this brilliant invention never caught on, but don't feel bad: The human centrifuge went on to be cited by the patent for something called "Method and Apparatus for Bleeding a Test Animal," which we are not going to look up. If you want to, be our guest.