The news is kind of like a creepy cult leader who makes a convincing case that the world is going to end next month, until you realize he's been saying the same thing for 40 years. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so):

The 12 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/29)

Source: MSN

SH*T, JUST SHIP IT. THE CEO OF A PEANUT COMPANY WAS SENTENCED TO 28 YEARS IN PRISON FOR KNOWINGLY SHIPPING PEANUTS TAINTED WITH SALMONELLA. ran rorp

The 12 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/29)

Source: Bloomberg

CEO MARTIN SHKRELI BECAME THE POSTER CHILD FOR BIG PHARMA GREED WHEN HE RAISED THE PRICE OF A LIFESAVING DRUG BY 5,000 PERCENT OVERNIGHT. Daraprim is

JOSHUA GOLDBERG, a socially isolated 20-year-old man living in his parents' Florida home was arrested by the FBI... FOR INCITING VIOLENCE AND ABUSE UN

The 12 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/29)

Source: TIME

A SWARM OF ANGRY BEES ATTACKED RESIDENTS IN A GILBERT, ARIZONA NEIGHBORHOOD as they fled into their homes... AS WELL AS THE FIREFIGHTERS WHO RESPONDED

Source: Reuters

WARNER MUSIC'S COPYRIGHT CLAIM OVER THE HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG HAS BEEN RULED INVALID. Warner/chappell Music has made $2 million per year in licensing

Source: Billboard

The 12 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/29)

Pope Francis arrived for his first ever visit to the United States and showed why he's being called the People's Pope. After delivering an address t

A 35-year-old mother from Syracuse, NY JUMPED OUT OF HER CAR WHILE BACKING IT OUT OF HER DRIVEWAY after seeing a spider on her shoulder. OFEU Unbeliev

Source: 11alive.com

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