Before the Internet came along, one of humanity's favorite methods of letting others know we disapproved of them was by assassinating their asses. This, of course, isn't easy when your target is a world leader: The men and women who have changed the course of history through assassination tend to rely on meticulous planning and simple, time-tested methods.
Others, however, kind of just drunkenly bumble into success. These are the men who made history with a combination of merciless brutality and hilarious incompetence.
The Axe-Wielding Assassin in a Bear Costume
Swiss preacher turned political powerhouse Jorg Jenatsch was pretty much the template for the kind of guy who gets assassinated: a ruthless 17th century bigwig who enjoyed fame as a traitor. So when assassins actually came for him, no one was particularly surprised.
Yeah, that looks like a guy who could use some assassinationing.
How they came for him, now ... that's entirely another matter.
They say death has a different face for everyone. For Jorg Jenatsch, it came wearing a bear costume.
It was during a carnival, an epic fest of good old-fashioned revelry and drunkenness. Everyone was wearing masks and acting like complete idiots. In other words, it was the perfect time for a guy like Jorg "the man with all the enemies" Jenatsch to be especially wary of any and everyone he met. But he had temporarily forgotten about his "most hated" status and decided to let his hair down. Jenatsch and his cohorts were celebrating the carnival in a private room at a tavern when a group of strangers approached his party. All of them were masked, save for one man who was decked out in a full bear suit.
"We, uh ... heard there were Jell-O shots."
No reason to regard that as suspicious, really. Well, there was a bulge in the bear costume that looked an awful lot like a concealed pistol. And an additional hint that they might not be coming in peace was the fact that many of the men were carrying weapons. The bear himself was lugging a big ass axe.
The group proceeded to ask if they could join the festivities. Jenatsch looked at the team of masked strangers featuring an axe-carrying bear ... and somehow managed to reach the conclusion that they were cool. So he invited them in.
"You've got blow? Hell yeah we're buying!"