"They said 'MySpace' and I was like, 'Ugh, guilty.'"
Judge Ciavarella always claimed he was doing this for the good of the kids, but it turns out that "kids" was just a code word for the condo in Florida that he bought thanks to those sentences. You see, Ciavarella had a special arrangement with the owners of the private detention center he sent all these kids to: For each kid that ended up there, he would receive a generous kickback from the facility, which in time would accrue to upwards of a million dollars.
This went on for years. At some point he had to look at himself in the mirror and wonder if life was just an '80s movie, and he was the main villain.
Eventually Ciavarella's method became too obvious for the courts to ignore: His convictions went from 4.5 percent when he took office in 1997 to 26 percent by 2004. He was sentenced to 27 years in prison, but not before causing around 4,000 previous convictions to be overturned. Personally, we would have taken a page from his colleague Judge Michael Cicconetti below and thrown him into the juvenile center for 30 hours with those 4,000 kids.
We'd be completely fine with an amendment to give every American the right to kick this man in the balls once.