After all, it'd be one thing if these false pregnancies just caused some nausea and weight gain -- it's easy to imagine somebody tricking themselves into some stomach issues. But the condition also disrupts menstruation and causes other common pregnancy symptoms such as breast sensitivity. In the weirdest cases -- such as this 1960s case of a woman in Rochester -- the abdomen will become distended as if there's a fetus pushing out (doctors have found they can make this go away with anesthesia. Apparently, while awake, the mother is involuntarily forcing the belly out with her abdominal muscles ... or something).
Sufferers even claim they feel the baby "kick." What the hell?
We'll let Sigourney Weaver handle this one.
It's not like we haven't had time to study it; reports of false pregnancy have been around as far back as recorded history goes. Hippocrates (the dude the Hippocratic oath comes from) wrote about women with the disorder around 300 BC. In one of the most famous cases, the Queen of England, Mary I or Bloody Mary, was so desperate to bear a child that she had a fake pregnancy. The disease reemerged again in the famous case of "Anne O," who developed a fake pregnancy after imagining being impregnated by her doctor Josef Breuer. Breuer later talked about the strange case to the famous psychologist Sigmund "you want to bone your mother" Freud, who was so fascinated by it that it became the basis of his work in the field of psychotherapy.
"A ghost baby told me you secretly want to kill your father."
But we've saved the weirdest part for last. Pseudocyesis doesn't just affect women.
Yep, false pregnancy has turned up in men who duplicate the symptoms of their partners' pregnancy. They go through the same morning sickness, muscle cramps and, in one case, the same abdominal swelling as their pregnant wives. Again we say, what the hell?
Now all we need is for a woman to grow balls and we will finally see which is worse!