Uranium, the heavy radioactive isotope that turned Hiroshima and Nagasaki into craters and poisoned subsequent generations of their people, can be yours for about $200, which you may notice is less than the cost of an Xbox 360 and at least twice as bad for you.
Reading like an Overstock.com for supervillains, United Nuclear's website proudly states that no federal license is required to purchase their radioactive materials, and that their radiation counts are accurate and not affected by alpha radiation counts. Amazingly, at the time of this writing, most of their uranium stock is sold out, which makes us wonder what type of person makes bulk purchases of radioactive material over the Internet.
"Their prices are competitive but fair."
United Nuclear insists that its radioactive ores are only meant for scientific research and "professional collectors." While we're willing to believe there are people enthusiastic enough about tanks to buy them to drive around scaring the shit out of farm animals, we have to believe that the "professional uranium collector" demographic consists almost entirely of cat owning billionaires who have fed at least one secret agent to sharks.
When not writing articles for Cracked.com, Andre can be found furiously scribbling science fiction on the back of cocktail napkins at his website, www.ashtreehill.com.
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