What is it:
A lost work that allegedly chronicles the wars fought by Moses, Joshua, and the Israelites as they pounded their way through the Holy Land. Yes, the Jews were still the underdogs, but bear in mind they had a little super-weapon called the Ark of the Covenant to schlep around with them.
Pictured: "Power of God."
Why it's Awesome:
The importance of a book allegedly written by God (either directly or indirectly), cannot be overstated. If this book had survived, it would be in the same category as The Bible. You know. The greatest-selling and most influential book in the history of time. Hell, there are religious sects that are formed based on single sentences in the Bible and full religions dedicated to finding secret codes within the text. Any addition or change to The Bible, even if they're slight, would have had a huge impact on the face of history.
Beyond all that, the story sounds badass. You've got a long quest, the most badass Jews in history and a Death Star-esque secret weapon. For those keeping score at home, that's a God-authored version of Lord of the Rings plus Inglorius Basterds plus Star Wars plus HOLY SHIT CAN YOU EVEN COMPREHEND HOW AWESOME THAT IS?!
Why You'll Never Read It:
Unless it turns up somewhere on the Dead Sea Scrolls, the only other place it could be found is in God's head. We suppose we'll just have to turn to seedy fan fiction if we ever hope to see The Fellowship of the Inglorious Jedi.
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And find out about some mysteries that these books could have explained, in 6 Insane Discoveries That Science Can't Explain. Or check out some books you should totally (not) buy your child, in 10 Great Books For (Traumatizing) Children.
And stop by our Top Picks (Updated 1.8.2010) to see DOB's re-imagining of the Gospel of Eve.
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