Indoor Nudity (Villahermosa, Mexico)
The usual ban on outdoor nudity, or at least male outdoor nudity, is fully supported by us and we recognize it as one of the great achievements of modern civilization. The town of Villahermosa, Mexico, however, has decided to take it a step further.
Citing a lack of morality, Villahermosa's town council has halted its citizens from wandering about their own homes, swinging in the breeze. After all, who wants to creep onto someone's property and peep in their windows only to find them nude in their own homes? That kind of fucked up stuff may be kosher in Sweden, but not Mexico.
Sure, we get it: a fat, naked dude indoors is really just a few short steps from being a fat, naked dude outdoors. But we're pretty sure waging preemptive wars against gross public nudity is just as frowned upon as the other kind.
Silly String (Los Angeles)
In LA, there is a scourge that few people dare mention out loud. It is not only nefarious, but remarkably retarded. It is Silly String. For years, citizens faced each Halloween on Hollywood Boulevard like Anne Frank, hiding away and hoping for the madness to end. Finally, one heroic Captain America stood up to the terror of Silly String and put a stop to it, banning it under penalty of a $1,000 fine.
That hero was city councilor Tom LaBonge. The ban is for just one night out of the year--Halloween--and resulted from complaints that random Silly String sprayings resulted in fistfights during the usual Halloween street gatherings. There were reports of people actually throwing the cans at each other, according to police, which means maybe instead of a ban, they should have simply offered classes on proper Silly String use.
Fishbowls (Monza, Italy)
In Italy, the problems of modern man are on a scale that North Americans can barely comprehend. While poverty, the environment, prohibition, chlamydia, dog racing, incest and overactive sweat glands are all that trouble us from day to day, in Monza, Italy they have all that back-burnered so they can deal with really intense shit like what happens to a fish if you keep it in a fishbowl.
Do you know what happens to a fish if you keep it in a fishbowl? It sees the world all fucked up, that's what. The cleaned up version, according to town council is that a fishbowl provides "a distorted view of reality." So it's kind of like the fish Matrix. Only we're the machines. We're the fucking machines!
Actual view from inside a fishbowl.
Luckily for the fish, the council has banned the bowls in favor of square aquariums which, presumably, represent a fish's depressing reality in an accurate and heart warming fashion.