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PICTOFACT

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The 25 Least Inspiring Military Operation Names

By:: Paul Abercrombie

April 27, 2008

The 25 Least Inspiring Military Operation Names

Come on military, naming operations shouldn't be complicated. If you can't do it yourself, hire the guy who named Metallica tours in the '80s. We'd bet the troops would feel pretty close to indestructible riding into battle as a part of "Operation Ride the Lighting."

Instead they're asked to rally behind these monuments to self-parody. These are all real names of military operations. And besides the few times we specify otherwise, they're brought to you courtesy of our very own American military. USA! USA!

25 Operation Beastmaster

What Was It?

Cleared three large neighborhoods in Baghdad.

Sounds Like:

Someone watched a lot of late night HBO in the '80s.

24 Operation Deliverance

What Was It?

1993 Canadian mission to Somalia.

Sounds Like:

" ... and introducing Canada as Ned Beatty."

23 Operation Viking Snatch

Continue Reading Below

What Was It?

Mission to disrupt weapons smuggling.

Sounds Like:

Sure it's scary. Months at sea. Little hygiene down there. But not the kind of scary we're looking for.

22 Operation Enduring Freedom

What Was It?

Official name used by the U.S. Government for a military campaign in the global war on terrorism

Sounds Like:

The part of the war on terror that fights against unsightly pantylines.

21 Operation Liberty Shield

What Was It?

2003 Department of Homeland Security operations to enhance security at U.S. installations.

Sounds Like:

" ... and not one accidental pregnancy during the entire operation."

20 Operation Elfin Cove

What Was It?

Counter-insurgency operation in Iraq.

Sounds Like:

Mordor is invading Rivendell!

19 Operation Power Geyser

What Was It?

2005 military security support to the 2005 presidential inauguration.

Sounds Like:

What the liberal half of the nation's collective ass felt like.

18 Operation Block Party

What Was It?

Alongside Iraqi military, 100 Marines search Fallujah.

Sounds Like:

The most transparent bait and switch any army recruiter ever tried to pull on a high school dropout.

17 Operation Able Warrior

What Was It?

Operation west of Baghdad to disrupt car bombing.

Sounds Like:

"Hey, now, we never claimed to be superior soldiers. Merely adequate."

16 Operation All-American Tiger

What Was It?

2003 attempt to capture Saddam Hussein's associates.

Sounds Like:

The #4 on Chinese takeout menu.

15 Operation Operation Rapier Thrust

What Was It?

2004 Iraq mission classified either because of sensitive information or embarrassment by all involved.

Sounds Like:

What happened when they let the gay Ivy Leaguer name the missions.

14 Operation Jaws V

What Was It?

Disrupting insurgent mortar attacks.

Sounds Like:

Whoever named this mission didn't see Jaws IV.

13 Operation Seahorse

What Was It?

Mission to deter illicit activity along Iraqi border.

Sounds Like:

"Guys I think I know why they laughed at us for Jaws V. The sea creature we named it after was too damn big."

12 Operation Nickel Grass

What Was It?

1973 American airlift to Israel during 1973 Yom Kippur War.

Sounds Like:

It's true, weed was cheap back then.

11 Operation Bold Action

What Was It?

Mission to provide more security near Tarmiya in Iraq.

Sounds Like:

What the power strip takes against dampness and odor, according to Bam Margera.

10 Operation Rainbow

What Was It?

2004 Israeli incursion into Gaza Strip

Sounds Like:

The Israeli PR agency wanted this to be seen as a friendlier, happier incursion into the Gaza Strip.

9 Operation Focus

What Was It?

Successful mission to find weapons cache in Iraq.

Sounds Like:

The last thing you want to hear the guy diffusing the bomb yell at himself.

8 Operation Thundercat

What Was It?

Mission to disrupt Baghdad insurgency.

Sounds Like:

Cheap way of scoring laughs on a humor website, less effective way to convince people to risk their lives.

7 Operation Exercise Unified Spirit

What Was It?

Biannual NATO operation trains international forces to work together.

Sounds Like:

It was named at a high school pep rally, and "Operation Good Hustle, Guys" was deemed too casual.

6 Operation Safe Neighborhood

What Was It?

Mission to make markets safer for Iraqis.

Sounds Like:

Report of music being played too loud. Teenagers told to keep it down. Mission accomplished.

5 Operation Punisher III

What Was It?

Counter of surge in Al Anbar province in Iraq.

Sounds Like:

Dolph Lundgren was too stoic and Thomas Jane just never sold us.

4 Operation Woodshed

What Was It?

Iraqi mission killed 11 terrorists.

Sounds Like:

"Feel vaguely ill at ease about what we have in store for you, enemy."

3 Operation Beaver Cage

What Was It?

Swift Boat operation in Vietnam.

Sounds Like:

Ladies and gentleman, the results are in and we have a unanimous winner in the category of "military operation most likely to also be a porno catering to a vaguely frightening fringe fetish." However, the Swift Boat captains couldn't compete in the category of "most homoerotic mission name," which went to ...

2 Operation Mustang Flex

What Was It?

Mission to deny insurgents sanctuary.

Sounds Like:

The fact that this is quite possibly the greatest name for a gay porn star ever concocted, and the implication of horse sex would have made this a shoo-in for "the most frightening name to think about in a sexual context that resists any other thought train" if it weren't for our winner ...