Do you believe in magic? Cause I don't. Especially when it consists of some attention-whoring asshole doing glorified Jackass stunts where the only "magic" is creating the illusion that being publicly uncomfortable for a week somehow matters.
For the last 10 days, the geniuses in the entire national media have been jerking themselves silly about "magician" David Blaine, his "breathtaking" aquarium-dwelling stunt, and just how amazing it all is. Uh, could someone please explain to me what the fuck is so magical about a guy living in a tank of water for a week, with the assistance of feeding and waste tubes? I mean, David Copperfield may be a douchebag and all, but at least he flies around and makes shit disappear.
The big load Blaine was supposed to blow after his week-long masturbation session in Manhattan' Lincoln Center was holding his breath under water for more than 9 minutes, in chains, thereby breaking the previous world record. He lasted 7, then had to be fucking rescued by a team of paramedics, which is pretty much like promising a hot chick you'll be the best lay she ever had, then climaxing after two pumps and letting out a helpless whimper while insisting "this never happens." In short, Blaine fucked us.