Every other Tuesday, writer/comedian/blogger/crank Alex Blagg drops in to share with CRACKED the five things that are irking him this week. The Easter Holidays —
As an agnostic, impartial observer, I've got to say — of all the wacky and nonsensical religious holidays in the world, this one is way up there. First of all, commemorating Christ' crucifixion with something called "Good Friday?" According to the Bible, dude got beaten and tortured for hours on end, then nailed to a big piece of wood. What' so good about that? I saw The Passion
, and "good" is not the word I'd use to describe JC' big day. What' even worse is that people celebrate Christ' triumphant resurrection by hunting for crème-filled chocolate eggs supposedly left for them by an over-sized magic bunny. Say what? What the hell does a rabbit have to do with anything? That' like celebrating Thanksgiving by making dinosaur fossils out of plaster and leaving them on people' doorsteps.
Macintosh' Genius Bar —
Am I the only person who' made the staggeringly obvious observation that those who tend this bar are neither geniuses, nor even marginally competent in many cases? I mean, I appreciate your having a place where I can get smarmy junior college students to poke around on my laptop prior to shrugging and sending it off for repairs from real technicians, but call that what it is. Does McDonald' refer to their ordering line as, "The Threshold to Exotic Culinary Delight?" Of course not — they call it "the counter," just like Macintosh should be calling their Genius Bar "Customer Service Desk" or even "Place Where You Might Or Might Not Get Help From Pretentious Jackasses Who Think They're Geniuses, But Are In Fact Only People Who Make $10 An Hour and Wish They Could Be Home Playing Computer Games."