And yes, the donkey sex bit that made Joel Siegel walk out spewing obscenities because he was apparently so sexually uncomfortable (he probably popped a really embarrassing boner) was pretty funny, but it' nothing that would shock anyone who' ever watched cable television before in their lives. And honestly, if the peak of your movie is riding on bestiality (literally), it' probably a good indication that you should probably go back to the drawing board and work on your material, or just scrap it all and become a recluse seaman and spend the rest of your days out at sea and for all our sakes stop making mediocre movies about New fucking Jersey.
Trying to make Clerks II a movie in color with modern references and a seriously shitty 1990s alt-rock soundtrack (including Alanis Morisette and motherfucking Soul Asylum--WE KID YOU NOT) is a lot like when one of those high school goth kids suddenly starts wearing Abercrombie and backwards baseball caps. It' awkward and laughable, and inside you know it' the same kid who used to come to school dressed up like a juggalo from ICP and and cried while writing shitty poetry about bats. The film's saddest moment comes at the end of the credits, when, in a last attempt to scream, "I'm popular!" Smith decides to slowly roll a ludicrously long list of all of the MySpace users that added Clerks II as a "friend." If that' not pathetic, we don't know what is.
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