INT - TANNER KITCHEN - MIDDAY
BECKY is sitting at the small table near the refrigerator, attempting to feed NICKY and ALEX. KIMMY enters through the kitchen door.
DANNY and JESSE enter through the living room door.
Jesse, do you smell shit?
You know what, I do. Wait. It's probably just Kimmy's pussy.
Yes, that must be it. Kimmy, have you washed your pussy?
Just this morning. The smell must be my feet.
Jesus. Your parents should have had a partial-birth abortion.
MICHELLE and STEPHANIE enter.
Dad, Michelle keeps copying everything I do!
I do not.
What's the problem, Squirt?
I didn't ask you, you disgusting cow.
Yeah, fuck you, Kimmy.
What the fuck? What about Joey Gladstone, the 30-something unmarried man who appears to have no interest in women, or financial success, choosing instead to devote his time to eating cookies and imitating cartoon voices, all in the name of a non-existent comedy career. Joey is accepted unconditionally by the Tanner family, while Kimmy and her polka dotted socks are treated like a carcinogen. Never mind that outside of the context of the Tanner family, Kimmy is no more odd than, say, Blossom while Joey Gladstone is a member of NAMBLA.