Producers advise that you do not become confused and mistake the show
for a godawful John Cusack movie in which all the characters are actually
all the different aspects of a serial killer's psyche. And yes, we just
spoiled the ending, but, honestly, you really did not want to see it anyway.
Oh, don't seem so shocked that the sweet-looking 19-year-old is actually
a mother of three. She's clearly a whore.
Here's what we know: Somebody on that stage is a mime. We need you to
figure it out so we can take him out back after the show and beat his
fucking ass. We're counting on you, guy.
WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? DAILY EDITION
you want to quit the game, don't just rudely say that you're going to
walk away. Ask to be excused and place your napkin gently over the screen
displaying the question.
If you use the "ask the audience" lifeline, do not pander to
the crowd and talk about how smart they are. We all know that none of
these people have jobs.
Call Meredith Vieira "Reege" one more time, and she'll hand
you your ass and feed it to you. Go ahead, test her.
Take all the time you need to answer every question — perhaps even
more than you need.
There's a lot of money at stake here, and nothing makes for better television
than someone sitting around and trying to remember the name of the pig
on "Green Acres."
The "phone a friend" lifeline is not to be used as an outlet
for phone sex. Not that it wouldn't be entertaining, but, come on, you've
only got 30 seconds, so it's hardly worth it.