Another television season is starting up, which means the networks are rolling out dozens of new shows along with new seasons of old favorites. Most people have only a few hours in the day to watch TV and ignore their families, and with so many choices out there, deciding what to watch can be very difficult. We preview highly-anticipated shows and tell you why you shouldn't watch them.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
With the creator of The West Wing
and a star of Friends
on a show about Saturday Night Live
, NBC has created a juggernaut out of three of television' top-rated series. This show is a guaranteed success, and it's no wonder that NBC is the number one network.
That's what we would have written if this show had premiered six years ago. Now, NBC is the lowest-rated network, Friends
and The West Wing
are cancelled and Saturday Night Live
is a great reason for people to go to bed early. The whole idea of Studio 60
sounds like a Madlib that got sent around the NBC offices in '97. If it's is a hit, look out for next year' drama, in which Larry David will join Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Cosby in a show about
Ummm"Â¦didn't we already do the preview for the show based on Saturday Night Live
? There are TWO of them????
Apparently, NBC is actually producing two shows ABOUT Saturday Night Live
, and after comparing the talent levels of 30 Rock
and Studio 60
to that of SNL
, the logic behind the move seems on par with spending ten million dollars to have Frank Lloyd Wright build a diorama of the New Orleans levees.
We asked a female intern to describe the show for us, and after three tries it still sounds like, "Blah blah blah"Â¦Patrick Dempsey is hot."
We don't know too much about the show, but the posters depict people from various ethnic and professional backgrounds along with text, reading "Everyone Is Connected," so we're pretty sure it's about herpes.
The Amazing Race
There have been 10 seasons of this show, and the only thing we've learned is that no matter what European or Asian country they are in, Americans still think taxi drivers will go faster if they yell, "Rapido, rapido!"
Survivor: Segregation Island NOTE: May Not Be Actual Title
Instead of splitting contestants into tribes and making them race, CBS changed things up by splitting contestants into tribes ACCORDING to race. Approving fans should be excited for next year, when women will be denied the right to vote in Tribal Council.
The only way this show could more closely imitate a Chappelle' Show
bit is if eliminated contestants were informed that "the tribe has spoken," and then slapped by Rick James.
And lest you think the show would pass without controversy, the "white" team was given the name "Raro," apparently after spending their first two days on the island imitating how the Asians said hello to one another.
CSI: Las Vegas, New York, Miami
At the end of old G.I. Joe
episodes, there was always a two minute PSA where some kid would be on the verge of drinking Drano from a light socket when one of the Joes would come through a window and explain why that was not the breakfast of champions. CSI
is like that, but swap "Joes" for "would-be murderers". Remember: knowing is half the battle.
My Name is Earl
It' a decent show, featuring decent writing with a decent premise, which means that it'll only be a few months before low ratings lead to plots contrived for "special guest stars," like when Earl has to apologize for the time he told everyone that Kathleen Turner was a dude. Honest mistake.
The suburbs suck, and when you make a show about something that sucks, pretty soon that show is gonna suck too, which brings us back to Studio 60
and 30 Rock
...Read more of Zach's writing on his blog, UnderpantsOnTheOutside.com
, and on his comic book humor site, SuperheroDiaries.com
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