1. Grab a drink and gather round the computer monitor with your friends!
2. Take turns going through each other's Facebook Profiles!
3. Get shitfaced!
4. Try not to send rambling, incoherent messages to every girl you had a crush on in high school.
|Take 1 DRINK if your profile picture is a blank expression looking away from the camera|
|Take 2 DRINKS if your profile picture is you when you were a cute little baby|
|Take 3 DRINKS if your profile picture is a blank expression looking away from the camera when you were a cute little baby|
BONUS: Do a chaser if your photo is also an artsy black and white shot or taken in front of a famous landmark like the Eiffel Tower or Golden Gate Bridge
|Take 1 DRINK if your Friends List has someone on it who you don't know and have never talked to, but you don't want to delete them because you're not sure if they'll find out|
|Take 2 DRINKS if your Friends List has a platonic friend jokingly listed as 'You hooked up once'|
|Take 3 DRINKS if your Friends List has someone on it who stifles your entire Facebook existence, such as your an ex-girlfriend, your boss, or your real-life mom or dad|
BONUS: Do a chaser if your mom or dad is listed as 'You hooked up once'
|Take 1 DRINK if you have posted a Photo Gallery called 'Random' or 'Misc'|
|Take 2 DRINKS if you have jokingly tagged an inanimate object in one of your photos with something like "Chair Darrell puked on"|
|Take 3 DRINKS if you have ever posted an as-big-as-possible 60-photo album covering one three-hour night out with your friends|
BONUS: Do a chaser if you've ever removed a tag of yourself from a picture and silently prayed nobody saw that old picture of you with glasses, man-boobs, and a side-part
|Take 1 DRINK if you're in a charity group such as "For every 1000 people who join this group, I will donate $1 towards finding a cure for traffic jams"|
|Take 2 DRINKS if you're in a group for graduates of your elementary school, but you don't know anybody else in the group and whenever you visit the page you just get depressed|
|Take 3 DRINKS if you're in a group dedicated to bringing somebody else onto Facebook such as "Jessica Durk, get on Facebook already b***h!!!"|
BONUS: Do a chaser if you've ever created any of the above groups
|Take 1 DRINK if you have posted a quote from Yoda|
|Take 2 DRINKS if you have posted a quote from Napoleon Dynamite|
|Take 3 DRINKS if you have posted a quote from Nietzsche|
BONUS: Do a chaser if you have a quote from yourself
|Take 1 DRINK if you've ever written "Wow! Never thought you'd join Facebook!" on someone's wall|
|Take 2 DRINKS if you've ever felt guilty when reading a lengthy Wall-To-Wall conversation between two people who are better friends with each other than they are with you|
|Take 3 DRINKS if you've ever checked the size of someone's friends list and felt superior that yours was bigger|
BONUS: Do a chaser if you've ever checked the size of someone's friends list and felt indignant that theirs was bigger, thinking to yourself, "Well ... they probably add people they don't even know! Nobody has that many friends!"
You don't make astonishing amounts of money without ending up a jerk in some way.
Being at the top of your game can really drag you down.
Even our most popular forms of entertainment can treat their employees like absolute trash.
Sometimes our big, dumb brains are just flat-out wrong.