It began with Chris Berman' clever puns, continued on into a Kilborn/Patrick/Mayne fueled golden age, and has now entered into our everyday conversations. Or at least the everyday conversations of people who are too stupid to remember movie quotes.
The SportsCenter catch phrase, like the guest that is a hell of a lot of fun at the party, but spends the next three weeks on your couch making you rue the day you invited him in the first place, has run its course. We've had enough, SportsCenter Catch Phrase. As you yourself would put it, "Aloha means goodbye!"
And so CRACKED has put together a tournament of the 64 most clichÃ©d SportsCenter catchphrases in the sports fan lexicon for you to vote on. Each phrase should be judged on how annoying, idiotic and meaningless they have become. Sure you like some of the 64 teams who made the field. Hell, we even like some of the 64 phrases below. But this is a democracy, and something must be done!
Responsible for an entire generation of stupid white men claiming to be bilingual despite the fact that they think Barcelona is an item on the Taco Bell Dollar menu.
The Baby is Due, and Dr. Griffey Delivers
Strained metaphor attempts to equate placenta-drenched torture with a homerun.
Oh my God, he almost said the s-word! That' soo funny! Remember that song: "Miss Susie had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell, Miss Susie went to heaven and the steam boat went to... Hello operator, please give me number 9 and if you disconnect me I will kick you from... Behind? Hahahahaha! I'm a fucking idiot!"
Sounds more like something a 12-year-old yells their first time at the ballpark before catching a backhand from dad than what a professional journalist should be saying while on national television.
Blatant rip-off of South Park, demonstrates astounding lack of originality, which is exactly what this tournament is all about. We mock the autistic because, um, why again, exactly?
And He is MEAT
Like Christianity, this catchphrase is popular with people who have no idea what it really means.
ESPN' East Coast bias raises it's ugly head once again.
Run Forrest, Run!
In general, catchphrases based on decade-old movies don't do well, except for "It Puts the Lotion on Its Skin," a favorite of Hank Greenberg.
Cool as the Other Side of the Pillow
Even Stuart Scott' nine-year-old son stopped saying this years ago.
Nostalgic reference to Bugs Bunny adversary makes the anchors feel young again despite being understood by no one under the age of 40.
All in the delivery, this old standby is exclaimed by many but admired by few. Probably a little too well engrained in our dialect to be retired.
Dial Nine for Long Distance
Actually, you dial one for long distance and nine for an outside call, but "Dial 9 for an Outside Call!" just doesn't have the same quotability. Quotability by idiotic basketball commentators is why this one should be retired.
I Am Kaiser Soze
A creative line from a great film should never, ever be associated with ESPN. Extra points for lack of originality and the fact that it almost never makes sense as sports commentary.
Tries too hard, like your dad chaperoning your prom.