The NBA' regular season is here! Get ready for your favorite team to underperform and take nights off from now 'til the All-Star Game wake-up call in February!
To help NBA fans pass the time until the games actually matter, CRACKED has compiled 30 of the funniest, weirdest, coolest, and stupidest NBA-related videos for each team.
New York Knicks
This 10-second clip is both humiliating and hilarious-so of course it must come from the Knicks. Qyntel Woods blows a breakaway dunk after inexplicably trying to pull off a 360 and the frustrated Garden crowd immediately boos him. The announcer' reaction basically sums up the current state of Isiah' Knicks: "Just ridiculous."
Julius Erving was the smoothest Sixer of all time-both in terms of his gliding moves in the lane and his endorsement of soothing lip balm. In this hilarious early '80s commercial, Dr. J announces that he' changed his famous nickname to "Dr. Chapstick," and proceeds to tell a group of young fans that Chapstick is "serious medicine." (We are praying for a modern day remake in which Allen Iverson renames himself "The Answer "¦ for Chapped Lips is Chapstick.")
New Jersey Nets
When he' not preening, sulking, exaggerating an injury or bemoaning his lack of an iPod during warmups, Vince Carter can be one of the most exciting players in the NBA. These 10 most Vinsane moments of '05 and '06 feature a courtside cameo by Jay-Z (and an uncomfortable instance of a commentator deciding to refer to him as "Jigga").
We're not sure which is more awkward: Hearing the Celtics white-bread sportscaster announce a highlights video called "We Ballin'," or the actual lyrics from the "hip hop" group One Love and the Dream Team ("Basketball is my favorite sport / I like the way they dribble up and down the court"). Red Auerbach is probably krumpin' sadly in his grave.
Vince Carter became Canadian Public Enemy #1 when he essentially quit on the Raptors and forced a trade to New Jersey in 2004. So when he returned to Toronto for the first time after the trade, the crowd gave him a welcome as warm as an Ontario winter. This fan-shot video shows Vince getting booed mercilessly at EVERY opportunity including introductions and at tipoff. Hell, these people ride him just for getting a rebound during pre-game layup lines. Canadians, they're FAN-tastic, eh?
It' a scary thought that today' young NBA fans may only know Michael Jordan as "that guy who wears Hanes underwear with Kevin Bacon." Even for those of us who grew up watching (hating?) those great Bulls teams of the '90s, it' probably easier to remember the smiley, highly visible MJ of the "Be Like Mike" era than the vicious young freak who came into the League with the cruel intention of dunking on EVERYONE IN SIGHT. This collection of Jordan' 10 best dunks is a chilling reminder of what once was.Cleveland Cavaliers
LeBron James needs shooters to spread the floor, but what happens when Donyell Marshall and Damon Jones both want to take the 3-ball out for a date at the same time on the same night? This silly animated clip is like Cavs basketball meets Three' Company, with D-Jones inheriting Don Knotts' wardrobe.
The only Pistons starter not to make the All-Star team last year may actually be their best all-around player. Tayshaun Prince is a terror on D, a great finisher on the break, and a deceptively good shooter, as shown in this goose-bumps-inducing video from his college days at Kentucky. Prince opens a game against North Carolina making UK' first five shots, all from long range, the last of which he nails from just a few steps inside half court. It' video documentation of a guy entering the zone.