By most accounts, the 2006 World Cup was a resounding success here in the States. Forget about the fact that 17 million people tuned in for the final between Italy and France-about 4 million more than tuned in, on average, to the Mavericks-Heat NBA Finals. And forget about the fact that most Americans were buzzing around the water cooler about Zinedine Zidane' head-butt against a player who insulted his mother and sister.
No, we at CRACKED believe the real reason the 2006 World Cup thrived in the States was the rash of games decided by penalty kicks. Is there a more dramatic spectacle in all of sports? Never mind the fact that 120 minutes of graceful, artful and hard-fought soccer is decided by fives assholes winding up and firing balls at a virtually defenseless goalkeeper. Never mind the fact that after all the blood, sweat and tears it all comes down to whether a goalie guesses right.
It doesn't matter, because even the most soccer-ignorant observer can get riled up for penalty kicks. In fact, we think American sports can learn a lesson from soccer and spice up our end-of-game situations-bring that penalty kick mentality to those games we most cherish here. Like:
Let us pitch you a sitcom ...
History is full of horribly depressing moments.
Behind every great man is a great mind they ripped off.