"Fans of Philadelphia," Owens finally announced over a public address system, "you know I love you all like family, but let us not detract from the other 21 guys on this field. I look forward to spending time with you all after the game, and have arranged for a caterer to bring us all finger sandwiches and sodas so we can mingle. But for now, let's have a good time and concentrate on football!" The crowd, completely enraptured, heeded his every word, felling a little empty inside when the game ended-for only one team could take home a victory.
(To whomever winds up editing this: Please note I'm writing this recap on Thursday, so if this isn't how things go down, please make any necessary changes. Thanks, Jake)
"Just because we won," Shockey pointed out, "doesn't mean I was wrong about our coaches being inept. Face it, everywhere Tom Coughlin goes, his team does just well enough to not get him fired. Then whenever someone complains about his asinine micromanaging, they're accused of 'hating discipline.' All this proves is that Joe Gibbs is an even worse coach-a fact that anyone who's paid attention to the Redskins for the past three years will tell you isn't all that hard to believe."
In response, NBC commentator Chris Collinsworth condescendingly accused Shockey of being undisciplined.
"Did you see that sack Mario Williams got last week?" Texans head coach