No, there is only one solution to our immigration problem. I'm thinking we dig like, a big trench there and cover it up with some grass and dirt and stuff so they'll just run right in, and then we put a big net down there. Maybe one that's sticky like a spider's web so they can't move.
We could even get that M. Night Shyamalan fella' Dick thinks is a terrorist to cook up some spooky spider suits and scare the immigrants out of their wits. Soon, America would stop being known as the land of "back breaking, soul withering opportunity" and start being known as the "tierra de fuego" which is Spanish for the land of the giant terrifying spiders.
Bring up the economy to just about anyone who keeps up with the stock market or who lost their job recently and all you hear is whine, whine, whine, fiscal responsibility, trade deficit, national debt, I can't feed my family.
Well, folks, the solution has been under our noses all along. Candidates, listen up, because apparently this is some huge secret. There's a building, right here in Washington where they print money. No f**king joke, they just make all the money they want there. It's called the US Mint and Geordi showed me how they do it in a confidential briefing code named Reading Rainbow. So why don't we just go over there and start printing some damn money? Shit, it's not like this is rocket science or anything. There's a building where they make money. Let's go to that building. Let' make some money. Problems solved.
How am I the only person who's noticed this? This will play big, guys. I've got Karl putting together some stuff for you on this, so stay tuned.