The North Korean missile crisis has dominated the news in recent days. President Bush recently sent a letter to North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Il condemning his nation' nuclear tests. Most don't realize that such a letter goes through a "presidential proofreader" before being sent. The proofreader checks for grammatical, factual and logical errors and returns the letter to the President. Normally, that draft is never seen again. However, through a stroke of luck, we got our hands on a copy of the original letter written by President Bush to Kim Jong-Il. Below is the first draft of President Bush' letter, with the proofreader' original comments in bold.
Dear Kim Jong-Il,
What' up, not much. (This is a very confusing greeting. Are you asking him what' up and then answering the question for him? Are you anticipating him wanting to know what' up with you, so you are prematurely answering the question? If that is the case, 'not much' would not be an accurate answer, being as how you're about to discuss a major world crisis. Regardless, this is far too informal of a greeting to send a brutal dictator with whom you are supposed to be angry.)
A bunch of people told me you got a nuclear bomb. That' cool, we got him too
(bombs are not gender specific)
. Did you ever see World War Too
? That one big bomb was us (dropped by us)
. In case you don't know which one I'm talking about it' that one that we dropped back when it was black and white outside.
(First change; get rid of the 'a bunch of people told me"¦' This information did not come to you through the rumor mill. Second, the whole reason you're writing this letter is to point out that you are not happy that North Korea has the bomb, remember? Therefore, it would not be considered 'cool' by you that he has a nuclear weapon. Third, he is well aware that the United States has nuclear weapons, so you're not telling him anything new. I would also get rid of all of the references to World War II. I'm sure he knows about Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but just so you know, it was never 'black and white outside.' The footage you see is black and white because it was shot before the days of color film.)
Wait a second!!!! It is not cool that you have a bomb!!! Not cool!! Who taught you how to make it?! Was it President Clintin???? (spelling error/over-punctuation)
. Did you here (incorrect spelling)
about him and the cable girl when he was president? They totally did stuff together in the White House, where I live! Oh, did you here