Movie drinking games are a favorite pastime for those who enjoy competitive drinking, but don't want to put forth all the hard work involved with picking up a Ping-Pong ball. Just as basketball has its Magic and Bird, movie drinking games have their legends: the kid who matched The Dude joint for joint and White Russian for White Russian, or the guy who took a shot of old stale vodka every time American Wedding recycled a joke from American Pie.
While any drinking game can be hard on your liver, CRACKED decided to create some movie drinking games that are just plain hard.
Every time the word "fuck" is spoken.
Every time someone is spitting while they talk.Finish your drink:
Every time Tony speaks louder than any reasonable human being would ever speak.Fuck your sister:
At the end when Tony' sister says, "You want to fuck me, Tony?" If both siblings follow the first three rules this should actually feel pretty natural by that point.
If you're black, drink:
Every time you laugh and your white friend doesn't.If you're white, drink:
Every time your black friend laughs and you ask him if he' choking because you're unaware that a joke has been told.Everyone drinks:
When you both realize that the white friend is just fake-laughing every time Ice Cube speaks.
Finish your drink:
When the white friend laughs way to hard at a joke involving the N-word.Continue drinking:
Because you'd be taking awkward slugs of your drink if you were watching Barbershop
together even if you weren't playing a game.
Every time John McClane says something that is probably too witty for someone who is being shot at.Example: "An emergency? What does it sound like I'm ordering a fucking pizza?"Drink again:
Every time John McClane says something that is probably too witty to say to someone who' trying to kill you.Example: "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.."Finish the drink:
Every time John McClane says something that' probably too witty for someone to say when no one else is within ear-shot.
Example: "Who the fuck' driving that car, Stevie Wonder?"Vandalize your house:
Every time John McClane causes property damage to the Nakatomi Tower.Try to punch the news reporter:
Who has shown up at the scene of your now flame engulfed home.Bonus points:
If after you punch him you grab his microphone and scream, "There' your fuckin' landing light, Holly!" A line from Die Hard 2
, but nevertheless another example of McClane saying something despite the fact that no one' even close to being within earshot.
Chug your beer:
Every time something completely ludicrous is happening on screen.Try to stay upright:
Through the part where Jenny, the hot blond stripper, decides to fuck a retarded guy she hung out with in elementary school.
After an hour straight of chugging, experience the terror:
Of watching Forrest Gump
from a cognitive vantage point that is as impaired as Forrest'.Realize quickly:
That as a retarded person you now find the film offensive because despite all of the awards it won, Forrest Gump
is really just one long retard joke.