Drink once: Every time John McClane says something that is probably too witty for someone who is being shot at.
Example: "An emergency? What does it sound like I'm ordering a f*****g pizza?"
Drink again: Every time John McClane says something that is probably too witty to say to someone who' trying to kill you.
Example: "Yippee-ki-yay, m**********r.."
Finish the drink: Every time John McClane says something that' probably too witty for someone to say when no one else is within ear-shot.
Example: "Who the f**k' driving that car, Stevie Wonder?"
Vandalize your house: Every time John McClane causes property damage to the Nakatomi Tower.
Try to punch the news reporter: Who has shown up at the scene of your now flame engulfed home.
Bonus points: If after you punch him you grab his microphone and scream, "There' your f****n' landing light, Holly!" A line from Die Hard 2, but nevertheless another example of McClane saying something despite the fact that no one' even close to being within earshot.
Chug your beer: Every time something completely ludicrous is happening on screen.
Try to stay upright: Through the part where Jenny, the hot blond stripper, decides to f**k a retarded guy she hung out with in elementary school.
After an hour straight of chugging, experience the terror: Of watching Forrest Gump from a cognitive vantage point that is as impaired as Forrest'.
Realize quickly: That as a retarded person you now find the film offensive because despite all of the awards it won, Forrest Gump is really just one long retard joke.