UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES utter a single hilarious sentence that highlights a flaw in your character. This means you are part of montage of "failed dates" and will never be seen again.
Don't worry about choosing a good restaurant for the first date-the scene will cut directly to after the meal when you're talking over wine anyway. No matter how beautiful the girl, the audience doesn't want to watch you masticate. Um, we said MASTICATE, but they don't want to watch you do that either.
If your first date involves a large amount of drinking and you wake up together, don't worry about the fact that despite a night of alcohol and debauchery neither of you seem to be capable of sweating, or in need of relieving your bodily functions. This is not a medical emergency-it just means that thankfully for your furniture, you're not in a Judd Apatow or Farrelly Brothers movie.