Well-known movies always seem to creep their way into conversations. You're probably willing to let it slide the 70th time your mom says "Alrighty then!" She' old and small, and doesn't know any better. That fucktard office comedian from the Marketing department, on the other hand, is a completely different story.
With the arrival of awful SNL comedies in the last decade, this phenomenon has only worsened, resulting in the all-too-common awkward social situation where one person says something from an Adam Sandler movie and everybody else feels immensely, immensely sorry for them. So, as a public service, CRACKED has compiled the most commonly used movie quotes, along with a description of when they should actually be used in conversation.
"I find your lack of faith... disturbing."
If you don't recognize this as what Darth Vader says while using the Force to choke an Imperial Officer like a badass, you probably don't know what Star Wars
is, and are either a Quaker, a cave man or just old. However, if you knew the creepy factoid that the officer being choked is called Admiral Motti, you know a bit too
much about Star Wars,
and in all likelihood the sun and vaginas are probably hypothetical pieces of mythology you've only read about on the internet, Han Solo.USING IT PROPERLY
To effectively deliver the line: first, let out a few loud, Vader-like breaths. Then, let go of the steering wheel and put down your gin and tonic. Finally, reach across the car to the passenger side, clamp down securely on their windpipe and deliver the line. Nine out of ten people will think you're awesome for doing this.
"There' no CRYING! There' no CRYING in BASEBALL!"
When Tom Hanks screamed this line at one of his players in A League of Their Own,
men everywhere gave thanks. Whether it' because they broke a nail or they're weepy because I ran over their dog, again,
it seems like women are always crying. This makes men flustered or confused, which is ironically the only two ways Tom Hanks is able to act. See how we came full circle with that?
USING IT PROPERLY
A generation ago, men could help women cope by offering to "give them something to REALLY cry about." While effective, during the 70' this became taboo for reasons we didn't bother to research. Though this is off-limits, now when the girlfriend is crying, you can just remind her that "There' no CRYING in BASEBALL!" in your best nasally Hanksian whine. She'll laugh those tears away! Particularly if she knows what' good for her!
"Are you not entertained?!"
Russell Crowe is a muscular fighting machine that can't be stopped. He is a wooer of women, a leader of men, and a would-be king of Rome. Incidentally, this is how most men see themselves, unless they're pussies. USING IT PROPERLY
Are you a pussy? If not, the next time you beat your buddy Rick at Golden Tee, hurl your beer across the bar, raise your arms in triumph, and shout, "Are you not entertained?!" And when those two big guys start heading through the crowd towards you, don't think of them as "bouncers", but as fellow gladiators, thirsting for the thrill of armed combat. Go get 'em, Maximus!
"Sorry Goose, but it' time to buzz the tower."
Before Tom Cruise was an object of ridicule, he was a rogue fighter pilot named Maverick in the awesome-even-though-it's-all-sorts-of-subtextual-gay Top Gun
. One of the ways Maverick showed that he played by his own rules was by "buzzing the tower," or flying so close to the flight control tower that it made some guy spill his coffee. Since that time, "Buzzing the tower" has come to signify any potentially dangerous action that is worth the risk. USING IT PROPERLY
The next time your girlfriend asks you to "play by the rules" and put on a "condom" because she' "ovulating" and you "can't go the weekend without getting drunk and peeing the bed let alone raise a child" just look her in the eye, smile and say, "Sorry Goose, but it' time to buzz the tower." (This works especially well if your girlfriend' name is Goose or if she is at least named for some variation of waterfowl.) Extra points if you can get her to shout