EXPECTATION: as instilled by Say Anything: If you stand outside of your ex-girlfriend's window in a trench coat and hold a boom box over your head blasting Peter Gabriel's 'In Your Eyes', she will take you back.
REALITY She'll probably just close the blinds, or worse, call the cops. Try instead leaving her a mix tape featuring 'In Your Eyes' played 27 times in a row. If you really want to impress her, play it backwards every other time. There's some great stuff about The Beast in there if you listen closely.
EXPECTATION: as instilled by Die Hard: A cool line like "Yippee kay-yay, mutherfucker" will spring to your lips upon killing someone.
REALITY More likely, something along the lines of, "Dear God what have I done? Oh no, all that blood, please Lord make it stop," will come to mind.
Instead, try tattooing "Yippee kay-yay, mutherfucker" backwards across your chest to remind you of what to say.
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