If your present is long, cylindrical and hollow, then you're probably just looking at a roll of wrapping paper and mistaking it for a present. In this case, you may be legally retarded. You should stop looking for your gifts because your parents are probably just going to wrap something that they find around the house. Remember the bottle of Pert Plus you liked so much last year? Expect more of the same.
Monitor the Sounds your Presents Make
Shaking presents offers a great clue as to what' inside. If you shake your present and hear a meow, then it' probably the kitten that you asked for. If you shake your present and don't hear anything, then you shook the present too hard and your kitten is dead. Either that, or you're deaf. Or it's not a kitten. But odds are, you're holding a dead kitten.
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