We touched down in N'awlins at 6:00 pm and went to pick up the rental car. But on our way there, some scraggily lookin' broad with a righteous set of sweater puppies sold us her ride for 100 bones! Gnarls threw some beads at her, but instead of dumpin' the tats she gave us a weird look and asked us for a ride to the hospital. f**k no-if there's one thing a SigEp can't stand, it's a f****n' crybaby ice princess.
To make matters worse, her ride was this lame maroon Toyota Tercel all covered in mud and sticks. None of us could come up with anything that rhymed with "Tercel," so we decided just to call it "The Fuckmobile." Whatever. The piece started right up, and we were off, cruisin' down the highway like sailors on shore leave.
By the time we finally hit Bourbon Street, the Three Amigos were ready to get nasty! Gnarls ended up trailin' a set of quakin' cheeks into some busted lookin' bar. SigEps don't c**k-block, so we had to follow our bro.
The place was really dank and kinda smelled like mildew. They had all the lights off and everyone in there looked pretty depressed too, just kinda sippin' their beers all quiet and lookin' down at the rotted-out bar. We couldn't really figure out what the place's deal was-until Nate figured out that it was supposed to be pirate-themed 'cuz the bartender had a tattered shirt and an eye patch. But the barkeep didn't say "arrrrr" or anything and his eye patch was white gauze, like the kind you get at the hospital. Not so piratey if you ask me. f**k a pirate theme-if anything I'd say it was a bummer theme.