We are, however, looking into the construction of a glass floor and mandatory skirt policy for dames.
To: Board of Directors
From: Jeffrey R. Immelt, CEO, General Electric
Subject: The "Environment"
Gentlemen: Despite the fact that we save millions each year by storing improperly mixed lead paint in the Ohio River as opposed to disposal through expensive containers, those tree-hugging milksops at the EPA have decided to sue us, claiming that "rivers are not supposed to be flammable" and a bunch of other pseudo-scientific hogwash.
In technical terms, the "toxins" we "dump" in the river have been causing "cancer" in the inhabitants of the narrow patch of land stretching from
Luckily, we can afford some really top-notch lawyers, thanks in part to the two percent Corporate Benevolence Legal Defense Tax we levied on all wage-earning employees. The lawyers tell me not to worry. We didn't dump any poison in any rivers, it was those blue-collars in the factories. They should pay to have it cleaned up. Sounds fair to me.