Do it, man. We haven't been able to vote for so long"¦ And I was like, Yeah well we've only been over the voting age for a year anyway. It' just like when all those teenage Red Sox fans were talking about how good it feels to finally win a World Series. You've been a baseball fan for what, eight years? Big f*****g deal. The Astros hadn't won a pennant since you were alive either"¦Man, f**k Boston."


Ayad Jafar, 32. Homeless Iraqi. "I wake up with muzzle of M-16 in my mouth. The soldiers say, Wake up, it' time to vote. I tell them I don't care. I probably stay homeless no matter who wins. Then they start kick me and pee on my hut I make from empty coca-cola boxes. So I say, Fine, fine. I vote. Who must I vote for? And they say, Vote for anyone you want. This is beauty of democracy. But then I vote for local leader of my mosque and they say, Anyone but him.


Porter J. Goss, 61. CIA Director. Protestant. "I think exercising one' right to vote is important, which is why I did it 15,000 times. Usually I voted for the puppets of Big Oil, but I like what that Ali al-Lami guy had to say, so I threw in a few votes for the Kurdistan Alliance."


Amar Kawal, 65. Journalist. "It' great living in a war-torn hell-bucket of a country, because your vote actually matters. A hundred years from now, when our country is governed by two nearly identical monolithic parties run exclusively by like-minded corrupt rich men, we will yearn from the days when our votes actually meant something, as opposed to determining legality of marriage between men and goats."