What Went Wrong
First, let us acknowledge the difficulty we had deciding between which Rangers team to go with, the Texas version or New York' hockey team. The NY Rangers, during the seven seasons ending with 2003-2004, frequently had the highest payroll in the NHL and featured various future hall of famers. The result? Seven consecutive losing seasons.
However, as if to prove that everything is, in fact, bigger in Texas, including colossal embarrassments, the Texas Rangers went one step further by finishing dead last in their division each season A-Rod was on the team. This means that the Texas Rangers could have saved money signing about half of the New York Rangers to their team, had them play games in skates instead of cleats, and technically not done any worse in the final standings.
Why It Should Have Been Awesome
Costing $7.5 million ($162.3 million, today) and taking three years to build (a quarter of a man' life expectancy at the time), the Titanic was the most talked about gigantic ship of the early 20th Century, a time when there was presumably little else to talk about. It was designed by Thomas Andrew, widely considered one of the most intelligent and gifted shipbuilders in the history of the trade (as if you didn't know that already). After attending the elite Royal Belfast Academical Institution at 11, Andrew worked his way up from the bottom in various shipyards thereby familiarizing himself with all aspects of shipbuilding. He was also the nephew of Lord William Pirrie, who was the owner of enormous-shipbuilding juggernaut Harland and Wolff. Legend has it that he once ate a trash bag full of popsicle sticks in a single night, and the next morning shit a perfectly constructed scale model of the entire Spanish Armada. Making ships was sort of this dude' thing.
To reward his work ethic, enthusiasm and almost-universal likeability among peers, J.P. Morgan, gave Thomas what at the time was known as "ass-loads" of money to build his dream ship.
What Went Wrong
Hard to say. In 1912, right before the Titanic' voyage, a deckhand reportedly boasted that "God, himself, could not sink this ship," so it' quite possible that a higher power asserted itself to put the arrogant crewmember in his place. Or it could have been the iceberg.
The Titanic, despite warnings of ice floes and being blindfolded by darkness, decided it would take it' chances with a slalom course of icebergs, always a good idea when you're so big that you have to RSVP two months in advance to make a left turn.
Not surprisingly, they eventually crashed into a humongous chunk of ice, thus transforming the ship from "Unsinkable Luxury Cruiser" to "Fodder for James Cameron' Money Cannon."
Of course none of it would have been so bad if they packed enough lifeboats to save everyone. But since the ship's talented pedigree seemingly insulated it from disaster, there were only enough for the women, children and Billy Zane. Freezing, stinging water, on the other hand, was in no short supply, and hundreds went down with it, including shipbuilding prodigy Thomas Andrew.