Don't believe what US Weekly tells you: Celebrities aren't like us at all. Do you have a Perrier bidet in your bathroom? Does your son think the Oedipal complex means wanting to f**k the nanny and kill your bodyguard? Do you go out on the weekends looking to have a low key night and wake up the next morning half engorged in Mischa Barton? Actually, that last one only proves that you know someone in a rock band, but for the most part, celebrities' lives don't come close to resembling yours. Except in one important way.
No matter how rich and famous they are, they also get disgusting, pus-filled pimples all over their faces. Lucky for them, Proactive works! And lucky for us, celebrities get paid obscene amounts of money to talk about it on TV. Through insightful, thought provoking infomercials, we've seen stars such as Jessica Simpson and P Diddy remove unsightly warts to once again return to a life worthy of a VH1 reality show.
CRACKED recently managed to get our hands on some audition tapes of Proactive-using celebrities that failed their auditions for their own Proactive commercials. See if you can figure out why!
You don't make astonishing amounts of money without ending up a jerk in some way.
Criminal behavior can be influenced by some very weird, seemingly random factors.
Even our most popular forms of entertainment can treat their employees like absolute trash.
The news spent weeks reporting on these giant scandals without bothering to mention the stupidest parts.