Though monkeys and toddlers usually fetch similar prices on the black market, American consumers seem split over which make better household companions. CRACKED decided to let the scientific method settle this age-old debate once and for all.

Love Science? You Need One Cracked Fact

One Cracked Fact is your daily dose of the best of Cracked, with deep dives into science, history, and pop culture sent to your inbox every day. No ads. No videos. Just what you love about Cracked!

Forgot Password?