(Costello forces Abbott's head into his lap)
Costello: f**k your mouth, that's his name! I'll f**k you right in your mouth, Abbott! How do you like that? Why don't we call the first baseman f**k Your Mouth?!?
Editor's Note: The underlying joke behind this tragedy is twofold. First, the author has bastardized the classic "Who's on First" comedy routine, performed throughout the 1940s by Abbott and Costello. In their performance, the imaginary first baseman's name is 'Who,' and so, in response to Costello's question of 'Who's on First,' the answer was Who-laying the foundation for a hilarious comedy routine. In this piece, Abbott repeatedly responds that the first baseman's name is Jason Giambi-the Yankee's current first baseman-and so Costello's repeated query of 'Who's on first' seems ridiculous in the face of that answer. Second, in the original routine, Abbott and Costello ended their conversation with some annoyance, but, given the social climate of the 1940s, Costello does not tell Abbot that the first baseman's name is actually 'f**k Your Mouth.' Not only would that have been inappropriate-it also would have wrecked the slapstick tenor of the routine. It should also be pointed out that the "His name is f**k Your Mouth" bit was directly stolen from the HBO Series "Carnivale."
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