I write as Mikepattonfan. Sometimes I use words to make jokes. I believe that a unicycle is a wheelchair for double arm amputees. I coined the phrase Kumquat Turtleloaf and his amazing muffinload of dogwank; coincidentally this is also the name of my extremely sporadically performed stand up show.


Interests include Comedy, predominately stand up, Filming poorly made skits, editing, Drawing, although my patience for this has eroded to the point of near nonexistence over the years, hence a lot of 'Artsy' stick figures, reading, writing, Skateboarding horrendously, Mocking any sport that's unfortunate enough to appear on my TV, Literally disintegrating every pair of panties in an eight mile radius whenever I sling on my guitar and summon forth nebulous shredding licks from the dark lord of hair metal, Chthuluh... You know, average stuff.

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