Mortal Wombat

Mortal Wombat's Cracked photo
  • Real Name: Mortal Wombat
  • Location: 888 Chop Suey St., Sushi City, Panda
  • Member Since: March 7th, 2004
  • Last Seen: May 24th, 2012 12:30 pm
  • Personal tag line: Have you ever seen a miniature horse?
  • Message board posts: 17,097

About Mortal Wombat

Nothing important.

Articles

  1. The 8 Most Incredible Things Slapped Together in a Day
    By: Christina H | | 797,015 views
  2. 6 Things Movies Love to Get Wrong About The Workplace
    By: Christina H | | 1,224,687 views
  3. 8 Gadgets That Lie to You Every Day
    By: Christina H | | 2,095,212 views
  4. 5 'Unspoiled' Locations That Are Actually Pretty Spoiled
    By: Christina H | | 904,470 views
  5. 5 Things That Are Apparently OK To Do in the Name of Sports
    By: Christina H | | 923,532 views
  6. 6 Famous 'Frivolous Lawsuit' Stories That Are Total B.S.
    By: Christina H | | 959,170 views
  7. 6 Fitness Tips Everyone's Heard (That Don't Work at All)
    By: Christina H | | 1,309,398 views
  8. 6 Groups Who Don't Work as Movie Bad Guys Anymore
    By: Christina H | | 1,027,239 views
  9. 5 Reasons The War Between Dog and Cat People Needs to Stop
    By: Christina H | | 574,424 views
  10. 6 Bad Ideas in Video Game Mash-Ups We'll Probably See Next
    By: Christina H | | 841,216 views
  11. 8 Amazon Products With Impressively Sarcastic Reviews: Pt. 2
    By: Christina H | | 1,098,888 views
  12. 5 Reasons Riding a Bike Is The Most Humiliating Exercise
    By: Christina H | | 869,453 views
  13. The 8 Most Successful Politicians (Who Weren't Human)
    By: Christina H | | 488,984 views
  14. 5 Reasons Parenting Is One Place We Shouldn't Imitate China
    By: Christina H | | 857,646 views
  15. 6 Reasons Kittens Suck (Learned While Raising Them)
    By: Christina H | | 902,106 views
  16. 5 Wildly Popular Car Modifications That Must Be Stopped
    By: Christina H | | 1,003,636 views
  17. 6 Ways Cities Are Getting Into the Attention-Whore Game
    By: Christina H | | 516,962 views
  18. 5 Weight Loss Tips for Cynical Bastards
    By: Christina H | | 681,659 views
  19. A History of Pop Culture's Obsession with Human/Cat Hybrids
    By: Christina H | | 383,604 views
  20. 8 Stupid Amazon Products With Impressively Sarcastic Reviews
    By: Christina H | | 3,765,596 views
  21. 6 Bizarre Ways Architecture Is Designed to Ward Off Ghosts
    By: Christina H | | 1,132,692 views
  22. The 6 Biggest Over-Achievements in the History of Marriage
    By: Christina H, D. McCallum | | 1,417,205 views
  23. 5 Reasons Why Anticonformity Is Worse Than Conformity
    By: Christina H | | 1,317,423 views
  24. The 5 Hardest, Most Pointless World of Warcraft Achievements
    By: Christina H | | 1,355,138 views
  25. 7 Things From America That Are Insanely Popular Overseas
    By: Christina H | | 2,775,348 views
  26. 4 Reasons 3-D Movies Don't Have to Suck
    By: Christina H | | 855,256 views
  27. 5 Reasons Women Are As Shallow As Men (According to Science)
    By: Christina H | | 2,334,476 views
  28. 5 Topics Guaranteed to Elicit (Condescending) Advice
    By: Christina H | | 1,135,063 views
  29. 6 Secret Monopolies You Didn't Know Run the World
    By: Christina H | | 2,300,305 views
  30. 5 Multiplayer Video Games That Will Destroy Your Marriage
    By: Christina H | | 1,167,457 views
  31. 5 Examples of Americans Thinking Foreign People Are Magic
    By: Christina H | | 893,371 views
  32. The 6 (Wrong) Questions Men Love to Ask About Women
    By: Christina H | | 2,671,445 views
  33. If Movie Characters Didn't Make Horrible Decisions
    By: Christina H | | 830,621 views
  34. 6 Reasons The NFL Is The Trashiest Reality Show on TV
    By: Christina H | | 671,497 views
  35. 5 Insane True Facts About StarCraft: The Professional Sport
    By: Christina H | | 1,557,315 views
  36. 7 Ad Campaigns That Prove Microsoft Was Never Good at This
    By: Christina H | | 592,228 views
  37. 8 Hilariously Failed Attempts to Use CGI in Political Ads
    By: Christina H | | 616,453 views
  38. The 5 Stupidest Ways Movies Deal With Foreign Languages
    By: Christina H | | 1,294,653 views
  39. 6 Devious Ways Farmville Gets People Hooked
    By: Christina H | | 709,317 views
  40. 5 Things That Are Being Automated That Probably Shouldn't Be
    By: Christina H | | 1,145,466 views
  41. Political Cartoons: The Lowest Form of Communication
    By: Christina H | | 375,075 views
  42. The End of Online Anonymity: Why Will You Be Freaking Out?
    By: Christina H, David Wong | | 358,090 views
  43. Why You Should Beware of Schools from Late Night TV Ads
    By: Christina H | | 267,116 views
  44. 4 Nobel Prize Winners Who Were Clearly Insane
    By: Christina H | | 711,043 views
  45. 'Plus Sized' Clothes: Translating the Baffling Euphemisms
    By: Christina H | | 379,116 views
  46. 6 Reasons It's Time For Matthew McConaughey To Go Away
    By: Christina H | | 578,723 views
  47. The 6 Worst Parts of Being Chinese (Not In The Stereotypes)
    By: Christina H | | 1,300,339 views
  48. 6 Well Intentioned Ways You're Ruining Your Dog
    By: Christina H | | 1,161,234 views
  49. 8 Health Foods That Are Bad For Your Health
    By: Christina H | | 1,630,978 views
  50. The 5 Biggest Mistakes Women (Like Me!) Make On The Internet
    By: Christina H | | 1,697,184 views
  51. The 6 Biggest Badasses Who Lived As The Opposite Sex
    By: Christina H | | 1,330,902 views
  52. The 5 Miserable VFX Jobs That Make Movies Possible
    By: Christina H | | 863,046 views
  53. The 6 Most Statistically Full of Shit Professions
    By: Christina H | | 3,208,084 views
  54. CGI Boobs: 7 Special Effects The Stars Want to Keep Secret
    By: Christina H | | 3,176,962 views
  55. 6 Ways World of Warcraft is Worse Than Real Life
    By: Christina H | | 1,450,405 views
  56. The 6 Most Insane Crash Diets of All Time
    By: Christina H | | 1,131,142 views
  57. The 5 Most Unintentionally Hilarious Comic Strips
    By: Christina H | | 1,159,491 views
  58. The World's Most Ridiculous Sports Team Names
    By: Christina H | | 1,028,886 views
  59. The 8 Least-Threatening Comic Book Villains
    By: Christina H | | 779,343 views

Columns

  1. 6 Types of Apologies That Aren't Apologies at All
    By: Christina H | | 722,262 views
  2. 10 News Stories That Raise Endless Unanswered Questions
    By: Christina H | | 967,163 views
  3. The 6 Biggest Fears of People Who Are Bad With Kids
    By: Christina H | | 607,361 views
  4. 6 Common Movie Arguments That Are Always Wrong
    By: Christina H | | 1,382,112 views
  5. 8 New TV Show Ideas Almost as Stupid as 'Grey's Anatomy'
    By: Christina H | | 513,733 views
  6. The 7 Most Obnoxious Fake Personalities on the Internet
    By: Christina H | | 834,354 views
  7. 4 Things The Jeremy Lin Story Reveals About Modern Racism
    By: Christina H | | 605,732 views
  8. 4 Reasons Humans Will Never Understand Each Other
    By: Christina H | | 574,678 views
  9. 8 Unexpected Downsides of the Switch to E-books
    By: Christina H | | 798,555 views
  10. The 7 Most Annoying Hidden Agendas on the Internet
    By: Christina H | | 869,485 views
  11. 8 Impressively Sarcastic Amazon Product Reviews (Part 3)
    By: Christina H | | 770,763 views
  12. The 7 Stupidest Things That Make People Proud
    By: Christina H | | 1,488,447 views
  13. The 7 Most Baffling Things About Women's Clothes
    By: Christina H | | 2,319,671 views
  14. 8 Bad Drivers Nobody Complains About (Part 2)
    By: Christina H | | 860,141 views
  15. 9 Quirky Things Every 'Cool' Workplace Is Required to Have
    By: Christina H | | 670,383 views
  16. 5 Reasons I Wrote the Drunkest Column Ever
    By: Christina H | | 355,508 views
  17. 5 Reasons Calling Someone a 'Nerd' Is Officially Meaningless
    By: Christina H | | 717,382 views
  18. 6 Obnoxious Ads That Don’t Even Try to Sell Their Products
    By: Christina H | | 779,247 views
  19. 10 Days As a Skyrim Widow: The Dark Side of Gaming Addiction
    By: Christina H | | 630,190 views
  20. The 8 People Who Will Ruin Your Attempt to Lose Weight
    By: Christina H | | 730,890 views
  21. 9 Bad Drivers Nobody Complains About
    By: Christina H | | 1,219,113 views
  22. 7 B.S. Sports Stories for When The Media Has Nothing to Say
    By: Christina H | | 537,978 views
  23. The 6 Stupidest Internet Reactions To Shocking News Stories
    By: Christina H | | 769,978 views
  24. 6 Misleading Assumptions You Make About Quiet People
    By: Christina H | | 1,095,511 views
  25. 7 Reasonable Explanations For Looking Like a Hipster
    By: Christina H | | 821,553 views
  26. 6 Innocent-Sounding Topics That Are Guaranteed Flame Wars
    By: Christina H | | 968,907 views
  27. 6 Habits of Highly Annoying Public Speakers
    By: Christina H | | 681,673 views
  28. 6 Obnoxious Assumptions Hollywood Makes About Women
    By: Christina H | | 1,219,280 views
  29. The 6 Weirdest Jobs in China
    By: Christina H | | 728,133 views
  30. 5 Common Responses to Awkwardness (That Make Things Worse)
    By: Christina H | | 818,190 views
  31. 8 Words the Internet Loves to Confuse With Other Words
    By: Christina H | | 918,941 views
  32. 8 Tiny Things That Stopped Suicides
    By: Christina H | | 1,477,030 views
  33. 6 Double Standards We're All Guilty Of
    By: Christina H | | 1,101,930 views
  34. 6 Ways to Get Anyone to Believe a Clearly Fake News Story
    By: Christina H | | 635,143 views
  35. 7 Female Behaviors That Baffle Men (Explained!)
    By: Christina H | | 1,352,382 views
  36. 6 Real Diseases That Have Somehow Become Trendy
    By: Christina H | | 1,063,829 views
  37. 5 Reasons We Need Classes on How to Talk to People
    By: Christina H | | 688,601 views
  38. 8 Words You're Confusing With Other Words
    By: Christina H | | 1,040,428 views
  39. The 6 Weirdest Free Speech Issues Around The World
    By: Christina H | | 627,361 views
  40. 5 Types of Scandals That Are Always Disappointing
    By: Christina H | | 650,671 views
  41. The 7 Types of Friend Everyone Needs
    By: Christina H | | 935,356 views
  42. 6 Reasons Engagement Ring Shopping Objectively Sucks
    By: Christina H | | 516,355 views
  43. The 5 Most Pointlessly Women-Specific Products
    By: Christina H | | 988,485 views
  44. The 5 Saddest Things People Do to Look Smart
    By: Christina H | | 1,133,913 views
  45. 4 Reasons We Need to Start Making Fun of Terrorists
    By: Christina H | | 735,276 views
  46. The 7 Most Condescending Sports Euphemisms
    By: Christina H | | 746,655 views
  47. 6 Things Everyone Wants To Share And Nobody Wants To Read
    By: Christina H | | 940,002 views
  48. 4 Recurring Myths We Apparently Really Want to Believe
    By: Christina H | | 1,349,583 views
  49. 5 Iconic Corporate Mascots Invented by Mistake
    By: Christina H | | 961,464 views

Topics

  1. Anatomy of a Failed World of Warcraft Raid
    By: sadistic midget, Mortal Wombat | | 375,002 views
  2. A Guide to Buying, Owning and Hating Your Pet Cat
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 188,227 views
  3. The 11 Most Common (And Sad) Internet Argument Techniques
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 947,639 views
  4. How to Tell When Criticism is Constructive [Chart]
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 185,028 views
  5. Why Miracle Weight Loss Products Don't Work [CHART]
    By: Mortal Wombat, David Wong | | 311,524 views
  6. Bubba Gump
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 3,066 views
  7. Dallas Cowboys Football
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 45,322 views
  8. Hiring By Boob Size: Hooters' Guide to Legal Discrimination
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 190,517 views
  9. Casino Floor Plan: The Secret to Keeping You Gambling
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 140,170 views
  10. Why Dr. Seuss May Be History's Greatest Author [CHART]
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 317,786 views
  11. The First QB to Ever Eat Himself Out of the NFL
    By: Mortal Wombat | | 238,888 views

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