Every Women's Magazine Ever
Every issue of every woman's magazine has an expansive new list of love-making secrets. How is that possible? Do women's magazine editors reshape their genitals every 30 days? Are there really so many poontang discoveries being made that you can tell us 50 new stunts to perform on one each month? It's like they're writing articles specifically for Ice T to pleasure the dunes of his wife's ever-shifting booty landscape.
I always thought I had the qualities to be a great women's magazine editor. I'm constantly listing things your vaginas should do. I'm morally reprehensible and judgmental. Plus check out this sex advice: Ladies, if you and your sex partner need a Cosmopolitan top 10 list to find your g-spot, let me spoil the ending: apology and a good night's sleep. Besides, the g-spot is all a big snipe hunt invented by the pipe cleaner industry anyway. There's only one g-spot and it moves from woman to woman. It's invisible to science and the only thing you can be sure of is that it's never in the woman you're digging around in.
For more tips for the woman and the home, please enjoy Penis: For Women.
Painfully hilarious. You should do more of these.
ReplyI am the minotaur.
Reply"He will f**k you like a CHICKEN."
ReplyThanks. Thanks a lot. Now everyone in my office knows I'm f*****g around instead of working, thanks to my inability to stop laughing.
If I get fired I'm taking revenge on Seanbaby.
"Orgasm blow hole" I laff'd.
Reply"He will f**k you like a chicken."
ReplyBest line of anything EVER
Dude. WTFLOL.
Reply...if it's sorcery- f**k you, I'm an American.
ReplyConfused
Toronto, Canada
^Almost as good as 'He will f**k you like a chicken.'
"No man's ever hit my cowbell before"
Reply"Remember when you got separated from the boys to learn what all those holes down there are for? The boys spent that time learning how to put on condoms with their teeth and square dancing with each other."
the cats thing was the best part :D
Reply"Oh, baby! If only you had slammed into that three vaginoplasties ago!" - Marcia Cross on the Mayflower
ReplyI actually had to take a few minutes to recover from that.
"and square dancing with each other"
ReplyI don't know why, but that really made me laugh.
LOL!!!!! Oh man, I loved this. Especially the ads... I want some EGG!!
ReplyLmao at first i didnt want to click but then saw that it was written by seanbaby and immediately knew it was going to be EPIC!!! :D
Replyput it on f*****g spaghetti! it doesn't matter!
Replyi read that and laughed so hard the water i was drinking slipped through my vocal cords and drowned me.
thanks, SeanBaby. i'll be haunting you.
The scent of EGG. The eroticism of EGG. He will f**k you like a CHICKEN.
ReplyOh god I laughed so hard I died.
yeah man. that was pretty good.
R.I.P Nitrogenica. You will be missed.
Lost it on the "I told my husband it was natural for bats to fly out of my mouth during sex... I told that to his corpse."
ReplyOrgasm blowhole? Can't believe I fell for that.
Reply"If you catch a friend masturbating, how long are you allowed to watch him before HE'S the one CATCHING YOU?!"
ReplyI literally f**king lost it, I rofled so hard!!!! hahahahaha
Dear Seanbaby: stop being so goddamn funny. My sides hurt, and this time it might be beyond what a little Nothing Cream can fix.
ReplyLove. It.
Reply