Somewhere, out in space, live The Herculoids! Sometimes you hear them mentioned on Venture Brothers, Harvey Birdman or during sex with me, but most people don’t actually know what a Herculoid is.
The Herculoids were a group of sort of superheroes who lived on the planet Amzot in the late 60s. For reasons that are never made clear, anyone passing by this planet had to land and try to kill them. And it never went well for them.
Normally when you fight a superhero, you capture them or take away their powers or something before they come back and triumph. You might have seen this basic structure in literally every television show and movie that has ever been. But “Herculoid” is Space for “one who doesn’t give a fuck.” Most times, the villain barely gets introduced before the Herculoids hit it with 2000 lasers and then unmolestedly murder his henchmen for nine more minutes.
Tundro the Tremendous!
Tundro is an armored rhino-dinosaur that launches exploding meteors out of its head, which can also turn into a drill if the occasion calls for it. Depending on how tired the animators got, he also had up to 30 legs. It was all the cartoon ideas they had for the next 40 years in one creature. Tundro is what happens when everything that can kill you has a baby with everything that wants to.
Igoo the Giant Rock Ape!
Most cartoons in the 60s were careful about showing violence. Fights tended to be two guys throwing rocks near each other until stalactites fall around one of them in a cage shape. For some reason, the censors didn’t have a problem with a rock ape getting fucked up. Every missile and energy beam ever launched landed square on Igoo’s face, and nothing created a sense of tension like seeing that the villain’s best weapon, under the best circumstances, has zero chance of hurting the good guys.
Gloop and Gleep, the Formless, Fearless Wonders!
Gloop and Gleep are chittering slime blobs that can turn into any shape. This is very handy on a planet where literally everything shoots lasers. If they ran into cavemen, they carried stone axes that fired lasers. If they stopped for a drink at a lake, it shot at them with a laser.
In 1968, 80 percent of the Korean population had a job drawing lasers for Hanna-Barbera, and not very many of them could read a script. Entire lines of dialogue were often replaced with a steady beam of mouth laser. So Gloop and Gleep’s main job wass either turning into doughnuts to avoid all the lasers, or turning into laser-proof igloos to protect any dumbass human-Herculoid who wore diapers or a nightie to the laser fight.
Zok the Laser-Ray Dragon!
Whatever Zok could do in the original script, the animators changed it to “Fires lasers out of every hole. And fuck it, his tail too.” If there was ever a writer that could come up with a reasonable challenge for a dragon whose leading export is laser, he certainly did not write for The Herculoids.
Zandor, the Human!
Zandor is the leader of the Herculoids, but it’s never made clear why they need one. They’re a group of unemployed monsters who do jack shit until something comes from space and attacks them. And when that happens, Zandor’s brilliant plan is to split everyone up into absurd teams. “There is nearby danger! Zok, Igoo, Tundro– you shall stay here with Gloop and Gleep and make your own puppets from the provided materials! I will take the little boy and these blindfolds to investigate the noises coming from the pit of vampire traps!”
Sometimes, when Zandor is traveling through the jungle, he does this fucking awesome thing with vines.
It takes a miracle for anything to have a chance against the Herculoids, and Zandor’s idiocy is that miracle. To make matters worse, he delivers his insane orders with a phony, over-enunciated way of talking. He sounds like someone making fun of white people. I think he’s probably insecure about being the dumbest Herculoid when two of them are single-cell organisms.
Tarra.
Tarra was a female, and in a Hanna-Barbera cartoon in the 60s, that was a lot like being born with a wheelchair for a head. When the writers came up with enemies for Zok or Igoo to face, they had to create ways to attach lava to a laser and still leave room for the robot dispenser. With Tarra, they would just have her trip into a pit. If Tarra is riding Tundro near a chasm and the Herculoids are suddenly attacked by nothing, she’ll throw herself off. It happens so often that Tundro has a defense attorney on retainer.
Tarra is the only superhero that needs a spotter to walk. The jelly beans are constantly turning into trampolines and parachutes to save her from her own suicidal stupidity. Whenever you see a cartoon character walk off a cliff and not fall, that’s because gravity was busy over on the Herculoids, trying to kill Tarra.
Dorno.
Zandor’s son, who is the very opposite of laser proof. And raising a laser-susceptible child on the planet Amzot is like trying to breed penicillin inside Tila Tequila. It’s going to die! For nothing!
This entry was posted on Thursday, September 3rd, 2009 at 4:00 am and is filed under Music, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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October 29th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Oh my God great article! That last comic had me in tears! AAAH-CHOOO
October 17th, 2009 at 10:44 am
cwn likes baby penis.
October 5th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
I just felt the need to address Nave Hayder’s post.
You are assuming a commonality of information in a pre-internet world of the late 1960s. “Any living entity in the Western world who was literate enough to read the News Paper knew that the author of THINGS FALL APART broke new grounds in fiction/culture/sociology by presenting the story of colonialisation from the African-side of the story.”
You speak as if you have the literary pulse of the entire western world in the 1960s. If you want to declare that its racist then say you feel its racist and leave the global generalizations out as having never heard your name before I am figuring you are not its spokesperson for this period.
September 21st, 2009 at 3:09 pm
LMAO, great article. One of the better ones in a while. CWN, you have no life if you respond to every comment pertaining to you.
September 21st, 2009 at 8:05 am
stand up video…
For those that attended Autodesk University 2004 and remember the hilarious Engineer Comedian Don McMillan , he will be at AU 2006 as well. This guy had me laughing so hard I was crying as were about 4000 other people in attendance. You definitely shou…
September 20th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
You kept checking back for five days to reply to everyone who criticized you?
The Herculoids was a great cartoon in my youth that doesn’t exactly hold up well with age. A rich vein of comedy was mined in this article. That’s why it’s funny.
September 19th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Igbo (pronounced Ibo) is also the name of an ethnic group in Nigeria. Considering the fact that here it’s in the form of a “rock ape” is very…very RACIST!
And it’s not like that the writer’s of Herculoids wouldn’t know about Igbo (considering they bein white people) coz there’s an entire literary-famous book out there on Igbo culture: THINGS FALL APART by Chinua Achebe. Any living entity in the Western world who was literate enough to read the News Paper knew that the author of THINGS FALL APART broke new grounds in fiction/culture/sociology by presenting the story of colonialisation from the African-side of the story. It was very renowned in its time (and still is), own a lot of awards and such - the book is so influential that it’s considered one of the best post-colonial English fiction ever made.
Hell, what’s frightening is that the writers of Herculoids probably knew about the book (and the real Igbo culture) and went with the ‘ape’ slur anyway.
September 17th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
This is by far one of the funniest articles on Cracked.
Now we need one about Dino Boy. It must involve serious man-boy love. Or caveman-boy love. Same thing.
For inspiration, I refer you to this image: http://www.tvacres.com/images/dinoboy.jpg
(Perfectly SFW unless you are a pedo and get turned on by it. In which case, there’s a video too.)
September 14th, 2009 at 2:49 am
Man…
I laughed so hard I had to pause when reading to wipe the tears away!
September 9th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
ummm Coop, I got no problem with you saying you really liked the article. That is not the “fellating of Sean’s literary dong” I was referring to. (nicely worded by the way, I shall overlook your weak ass “cunt” remark as a result)
September 8th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Awesome article.
Much akin to your legendary Super Friends articles, which can be found here: http://www.seanbaby.com/super.htm
September 8th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
I really really liked this article, even having not seen this particular cartoon. Good work, Seanbaby.
Oh God…. have I…. conformed?? I thought the humor just connected with me and my way of looking at things, inspiring my laughter. Apparently, though, I subconsciously scrolled through the comments section before reading the article to make sure there were a lot of people saying they liked it. Or maybe I’m just a yesman, pining for new articles every week so I can fellate Sean’s literary dong.
Well at least I’ve identified my problem, and now I can begin to address it. Thanks, cunt! Err… cwn!
September 8th, 2009 at 8:05 am
oh and by the way Zinslit, if you are not intelligent enough to comprehend the fact that “Comedic Relief” and “Comic Relief” are the same damn thing and both perfectly acceptable, then you sir, are a moron.
September 8th, 2009 at 8:05 am
Funny again, Seanbaby. Was gloop and gleep on this show a test subject for bringing the “Schmoo” to the Flinstones? Since it was on Herculoids, which looked dinosaur age, and the Flintstones are we to assume these creatures were normal then?
The reason for the Herculoids was that Hanna-Barbara had too many henchmen in their employ and needed a way to kill them off. They had no medical insurance and the only thing they had to do to qualify was to “shoot a laser”.
September 8th, 2009 at 8:01 am
@Zinslit Gravynozzle….yes, I am illiterate as well as a douche, I hope that makes you feel better about your sorry ass.
@Liam hmmm, good point, can’t really argue with “Why The Fuck Not?” thanks for not freaking out and calling me an asshat or somesuch thing which seems to be the normal approach here to anyone with a non conforming opinion.
September 8th, 2009 at 4:06 am
Does Cracked really need a comments section? What terrible things would happen if you just shut it down? If the sixteen-year-olds didn’t have this outlet, would there be a rise in school shootings?
Or you could at least mess with them. There’s no reason why you have to show every stupid comment verbatim and in the right order. It’s not like they have a right to be heard, it’s your site. You can just change their words to make them look stupid. For fun.
Oh, you’re already doing that? Never mind then, I suck cockz.
September 7th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Oh, I get it, now. CWN is a clever plot by politicians to create the worlds most irritating self righteous jerk and set him loose on the internet. Why? Because these politicians are actually the leaders of C.H.A.O.S. and-
Bah I’m too tired to come up with a good reason that he’s a dick.
September 7th, 2009 at 10:47 am
CWN
I think you mean “comic relief.” Are you illiterate as well as being a self-righteous douche? I think so. Obviously, your understanding of English is limited.
You must understand, no one here is angry with you, or cares at all whether you did or did not like the article. You just come off as such a panty-wetting pussy that it is fun to respond to you, and put CWN at the top of the post, so you can easily find it when you get home from school.
September 7th, 2009 at 8:41 am
To CWN: You have stated, “Why bother mocking an old show,” or something to that effect.
To you, I submit the following: why the fuck not? It’s for the same reason you might, say, mock your favorite childhood toys, or crack wise about yours highschool teachers- it’s for fun, and maybe a little bit for nostalgia.
Plus, if you show this article to a small child from the 80’s (however you may have obtained him/her), you could absolutely ruin their life, as every time they turn on a Hanna-Barbara cartoon, they’ll remember all the fucked-up things we wrote about it.
September 6th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
I meant cwn. Stupid broken keyboard.
September 6th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Guys, guys, go easy on cws. He’s obviously new to the internet if he’s never seen people making fun of old TV shows or movies they used to watch.
If anyone show him goatse or furries he might have a seizure or a heart attack.
September 6th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
finish superfriends section of your website
September 6th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
lmao, I seem to have incurred the wrath of the yes men….god forbid I have an opinion and express it ….I didn’t fucking like it, ok? get over it.
@Lukas….yeah, so what if I like men, you saying there is something wrong with that you immature little fucking homophobe?
@Ponytail…..umm yeah, dude, it’s called “irony”, obviously your understanding of humour is limited.
@SadiZombie…yeah, maybe I am a douche, so fucking what? And what the fuck does holding a job or paying taxes have to do with anything? (btw, I have done both steadily since 1988)
@Crash….yeah, I do spend time on CNN.com but what, I can’t come on to Cracked.com for some comedic relief from time to time? What, are you the frikkin gatekeeper or something? I am quite sure the admin team of Cracked.com is quite happy to have me spend time here.
September 6th, 2009 at 2:26 am
HAHAHAHAHAHA
That was golden bro. Good article; keep ‘em coming
September 6th, 2009 at 12:54 am
“rub the young boy with meat”?
September 6th, 2009 at 12:47 am
cwn likes men!
…and that’s the end of that chapter *dusts hands*
simple and concise, did u like that revelation?
September 5th, 2009 at 7:48 am
Seanbaby or any other shooping enthusiasts: what is the comic book font you’re using. All the others I’ve found are close but not exactly right. Different settings maybe?
September 5th, 2009 at 5:32 am
like what you wrote, just don’t get why you needed to use the word retarded in your title.
September 4th, 2009 at 11:57 pm
I have to admit, watching it now days is mind numbing, but I loved it as a kid! (I’m 47!)
Alex Toth’s designs were brilliant and Hoyt Curtin’s music soundtrack for the series is still phenomenal! (He used a theramin in the series theme!)
I wish they’d release it on DVD just so I could listen to it as I work!
Funny article though!
September 4th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
@cwn
he does it because ITS FUNNY.
its for entertainment, not a genuine review, because no one even cares about that show anymore.
so dont take everything too seriously all the time.
September 4th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
@cwn
I really like how you end your comment with the exact thing with which you criticize Seanbaby.
“Yeah yeah, Scooby Doo was ridiculous, The Banana Splits was just frikkin awful and don’t even get me started on Davey and Goliath”
…Wow, what a freaking revelation
September 4th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
@cwn: Well, congrats on your nonconformity. Shine on, you crazy diamond! Shame you couldn’t have saved yourself (and everyone else) some time by reading the title of the article before clicking on it, but we’re not all rocket scientists!
September 4th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
@cwn
Wow. You’re kind of a douche, aren’t you?
Of course, your opinion is still your own to make and you have the liberty of making said opinion and sharing with us your deepest and innermost thoughts. I have no doubt you hold the key to the future for all mankind with your keen insights into others.
Legions of yes men, huh? I suppose you’ve never paid taxes or kept a job long enough to be a yes man yourself. You are an inspiration to others. But you’re still a douche.
September 4th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I used to watch these!
September 4th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
@cwn
Why are you on cracked? Shouldn’t you be on cnn.com or something…?
September 4th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Sorry to disagree with the legions of yes men here who want to annoint each new article “your best yet” and “absolutely hilarious” but I just don’t see the point of a grown man critiquing a childrens TV program….not to mention a childrens TV program that is almost 40 years old.
The Herculoids was a retarded show? Wow, what a freaking revelation, of course it was retarded, it was designed to entertain little kids.
Yeah yeah, Scooby Doo was ridiculous, The Banana Splits was just frikkin awful and don’t even get me started on Davey and Goliath
September 4th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
This article is brilliant.
September 4th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Thanks to Cracked I have added 3 new words into my everyday vocabulary:
pants-shittingly
dongtacular
It enters without pants!
September 4th, 2009 at 11:28 am
“Is physics just kidding today or something?” My new email sig.
Seanbaby, this is your funniest article yet.
September 4th, 2009 at 11:12 am
The great Alex Toth gave us…….
Super-Friends
Space Ghost
The Herculoids
Thundarr The Barbarian
Fuck, Adult Swim would barely have any shows if it weren’t for Alex Toth getting shamelessly ripped off. Hmmmmm, I smell a column about this……….
September 4th, 2009 at 9:52 am
I still don’t understand what the crap this cartoon is about. But the article was great.
September 4th, 2009 at 9:00 am
right, because there are no retarded cartoons being made today
September 4th, 2009 at 6:59 am
God damn it, I learned something today! From Cracked!!? Thanks SeanBaby!
September 4th, 2009 at 5:36 am
seanbaby rules!!!
September 4th, 2009 at 5:03 am
Good reading comprehension there AmeriC*NT. It might have looked to the casual observer that Danerocks was making the point that gay jokes are unoriginal and not funny, but you cleverly read between the lines to discover that what he really meant was gays should be defended from comedy.
How did you get so smart?
Oh hey, I just read the rest of your comment. Men who act all high and mighty only do so because their penises are small?
I’m actually a bit sceptical now. Are you really in possession of extraordinary insight into what motivates other people, or do you just like unorignal jokes about gays and small penises?
September 4th, 2009 at 3:53 am
Haha. Captions. What is this writer, a 4chan wannabe?
September 4th, 2009 at 3:09 am
Oh man, Herculoids. boring invincibility aside, I loved their designs. Alex Toth at his finest. And if you think they’re overpowered, you should see Shazzan.
September 4th, 2009 at 2:43 am
@Danerocks:
“And before I get blasted, I am a heterosexual male avid reader.”
You do realise the most people who defend ‘gays’ most violently to the point of insanity are ’straights’? And it’s not because we ‘gays’ are afraid to stand up for ourselves. It’s because most of the time we know how to take a joke and have a sense of humour.
It’s like the thing with religion in schools and navitity (spelling?) plays. You know, the ones about baby jesus that got banned because people protested about other religions children having to be in them. Do you know who were the ones who protested the most were?
Atheists/alternative religion.
Not the muslims, not the jews, not the hindus.
It was the bored house wives and the men who felt the need to overcompensate for “something” [;)] by acting all high and mighty.
I talked to a muslim yummy mummy and she said she was fine with her son being in a play, she didn’t care at all since she just saw it as a nice thing all the young children spent a lot of time on and enjoyed.
And neither did her husband. =o
So please, do us all a favour and get down off your high road horse and do get laid. You’re not just pissing off the straight people anymore. ;]
September 4th, 2009 at 2:41 am
LET THE SEX HARVEST BEGIN! hahahahaha!
September 4th, 2009 at 2:00 am
I’m not usually a big fan of Seanbaby. But holy shit I haven’t laughed so hard on this website in a long time. I was in tears laughing.
September 4th, 2009 at 1:08 am
That was brilliant!
More like this!
September 4th, 2009 at 12:55 am
Please don’t ever stop writing.
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:16 pm
Zok came so close to being King Ghidorah, the thought gives me chills.
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Well obviously every villain has to take a crack at them for some sort of toll booth.
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Thank you seanbaby for yet another article of unrestricted laughter.
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Great article, but the Herculoids still rule! The only toon that comes close today is The Venture Brothers. Nothing like mindless violence, wrapped around stupid characters & an even stupider story.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Hail Squishface!
amazing article, dont ever stop.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:24 pm
dear seanbaby: you rule/
my heart.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:13 pm
Lol… rapey….
I’m embarassed to say that I actually watched that cartoon heh. I don’t remember anything about it other than the rhino though
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Ha, ha, I actually remember watching this show a little bit on Boomerang a long time ago. I thought that the characters looked cool (especially those yellow blob guys) but other than that, it bored me to tears.
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:59 pm
“Tundro is what happens when everything that can kill you has a baby with everything that wants to.”
Damn, you`re funny.
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:23 pm
wow, perfect. i almost woke my daughter.
“you must be like the inventor of the slingshot or something”
“unkillable beasts, stay here! i shall rubthe youb by with meat to investigate!”
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Who cares! My friends recommended me a very interesting place ~~~ AgelessFriends @ com ~~~ It’s a nice place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. You may wanna check it out.
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:11 pm
I normally hate your stuff, but this made me laugh my ass off. I remember the Herculoid reruns fter school. I hated them so much.
“I better be careful, snd fast!”
September 3rd, 2009 at 3:36 pm
This was confusing at times but hilarious at other times. I give it a thumbs up!
September 3rd, 2009 at 3:36 pm
I’m surprised Seany did not make a mention of Tarra’s high fuckable factor. Also, I feel Gloop and Gleep look either delicious or disgusting (like semen-drop-disgusting) according to the lighting
September 3rd, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I must have read this over 5 or 6 times and I have yet to see a mention of “dicks” or “cocks”. Are you ok, seanbaby? Get some rest and drink plenty of fluids. Your welcome.
September 3rd, 2009 at 3:31 pm
This is the first genuinely good Seanbaby article in a while. Keep it up man.
September 3rd, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Why in the world doesn’t someone just write comic strips like this on lame Hanna Barbara cartoons for a living? I about busted my pancreas laughing!
September 3rd, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Pretty much all Hannah-Barbara superheroes were invincible
September 3rd, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Those comic strips were hilarious. If that was the actual dialogue from the show, I would watch it all the time.
September 3rd, 2009 at 2:14 pm
What the fuck is a space mexican?
September 3rd, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Cartoon Network used to show this one a few years ago. I really hated it. The good guys just seemed too perfect. It’s like the Triple H of cartoon characters.
September 3rd, 2009 at 2:08 pm
I’m only 16, and I think I remember watching this show once or twice on early morning Cartoon Network. It was horrible. This whole article cracked me up, especially the comic strips.
September 3rd, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Danerocks: Well, it wasn’t so much a gay joke as much as it was a “attempt at description” joke. The joke was that the thing could not possiby be an animal and that could be a float in a gay parade because it makes no sense. For Rhinos. With A.I.D.S. It’s not “30 years ago gay humor”.
September 3rd, 2009 at 1:55 pm
speaking of retarded…
September 3rd, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Can’t be more hilarious than “Thundarr the Barbarian.”
Go find the intro on Youtube and watch the way the conjured dragon turns his head like a confused baby when the narrator shouts “Super Science!”
Super Science is confused dragons. Gets me every time.
September 3rd, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Holy crap that was awesome. Great job!
September 3rd, 2009 at 1:35 pm
This is still better than the toy commercials that posed as cartoons in the 80’s(G I Joe, Transformers, et al). However I must admit one of the best new cartoons is “the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.” I watch that with my 9 year old son, we love it.
September 3rd, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Danerocks: Yeah, fine. But you should know that the more a group insists that no one can make fun of them, the more people are going to make fun of them; we take it as a challenge, and if gays can’t learn to roll with the punches like the rest of us, too fucking bad.
September 3rd, 2009 at 1:09 pm
I started laughing my ass of at “So is physics just kidding today or something?” Great line
September 3rd, 2009 at 1:03 pm
have to admit, Seanbaby, you’re now my favorite columnist, don’t ever leave. Ever…
September 3rd, 2009 at 1:02 pm
LET THE SEX HARVEST BEGIN!!! ftw
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:58 am
As terrific as the text always is, the comics absolutely kill me. Who knew “AIIIEEEEE!!!” was such a hilarious line?
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:51 am
I’d still rather watch ‘Herculoids’. It had a descent, honest, easy to digest stupidity to it, rather than the enriched, weapons grade stupidity of todays japanimation.
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:46 am
“did it work?”
“like a space mexican.”
that killed me, great article.
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:38 am
Dude, I used to watch this show when I was a little kid! So funny and so true!
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:31 am
i love me some herculoids.
i could watch that shit on boomerang 24/7.
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:24 am
good article… yet that show is still one of my favorites EVER
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:20 am
You are by far the most talented writer on this site, though you may get me fired before too long.
“In 1968, 80 percent of the Korean population had a job drawing lasers for Hanna-Barbera…” SO GOOD.
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:15 am
Brilliant writing. Great article! I actually loved this cartoon and didn’t realize how retarded it was til now.
A few years ago I ran into a girl I went to school with. I said, “Hey Tara.”
She said, all snotty like, “It’s TARra.”
I said, “Oh sorry. I didn’t realize you were a Herculoid now.”
She looked at me like WTF? but inside I patted myself on the back for my own brilliance.
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:15 am
Eh, it’s no worse than “Dinosaucers”, but face-meltingly hilarious as always, Seanbaby.
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:05 am
“In 1968, 80 percent of the Korean population had a job drawing lasers for Hanna-Barbera…”
Freaking hilarious. One of your best for Cracked so far, Seanbaby.
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:46 am
Dude… this is an awesome cartoon…. This was no way more retarded than today’s cartoons.
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:17 am
I can see why Seanbaby is popular, but at no point during this article did I care if Seanbaby lived to write the ending to it. There are lots of terrible cartoons, and this one sounds no worse than any of the ’80s ones that Cracked loves so much.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:58 am
“Tundro is what happens when everything that can kill you has a baby with everything that wants to.”
Fucking A
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:55 am
“Given this level of evil, I’m surprised the situation isn’t a little more rapey.” or “It enters w/out pants!” The sudden guffaw @ reading this @ work didn’t go over so well…
Damn, those are gonna’ wind up on the t-shirt of some bohemian hipster milking the glory days of shit cartoons…
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:42 am
“Whenever you see a cartoon character walk off a cliff and not fall, that’s because gravity was busy over on the Herculoids, trying to kill Tarra.”
That made me lol and so did the sex harvest comment. That really is a 4CHAN kind of thing.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:35 am
Probably my new favorite Seanbaby article. Now I wanna go watch some cartoons…
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:32 am
Hahahaha! Yes I am old enough to have seen the Herculoids on Saturday morning TV and yes that was the most retarded cartoon ever!
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:32 am
And what the kids watch now, is BETTER!!?? Naruto, Deathnote, Billy and mandy, fuck it goes on and on.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:31 am
@watchtower;
I think you missed the point of what I was saying. You couldn’t get away with saying Rhino niggers. Nobody could. I’m not saying he has anything against gays, I’m saying that gay-based insult humour makes up a lot of his posts. As you said, there was a lot he could have used, instead he makes an AIDS related joke. I just think that someone who obviously has such a firm grasp on comedy cheapens his own material by continuously sledging one particular minority. As I said, the gay joke is not sophisticated comedy. Bruno proved that.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:19 am
Sorry for the double-post, but I thought that including this would’ve made my last post too long.
@Danerocks: I think you’re looking at the joke a little too hard. Yeah, Seanbaby could’ve replaced “gay rhinos” with “rhino niggers”. In fact, there’s a lot that he could’ve used that wouldn’t change the hilarity of the joke, but he decided to use “gay rhinos”. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s got anything against gays. Oddly enough, I kinda doubt Seanbaby would use “rhino niggers” because, after reading a lot of his stuff, I’ve noticed that he rarely resorts to the use of racial slurs.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:14 am
Loved it. Always made fun of my dad because he looks like Zandor.
Seanbaby, you rock! =*
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:10 am
IT ENTERS WITHOUT PANTS!
LET THE SEX HARVEST BEGIN
It would not be rare to find these two jewels later in 4chan and knowyourmeme
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:08 am
You are my hero seanbaby! Love your articles, they are always funny and a good read!
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:04 am
Seanbaby, you’ve done a lot of funny articles, but this is easily one of your funniest. Maybe it’s because I’ve been watching it on Boomerang for the last few months, so everything retarded about this show is still fresh.
“No look — it has 30 feet. It’s 15 guys under an AIDS quilt for gay rhinos.”
“Does this count?! I think this counts! We’re not going to die as virgins!”
“I’m about to club a woman who fell 8 stories out of a dragon accident. Given this level of evil, I surprised the situation isn’t a little more rapey.”
“IT ENTERS WITHOUT PANTS!!! LET THE SEX HARVEST BEGIN!!!”
Best. One-Liners. EVER.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:00 am
LET THE SEX HARVEST BEGIN
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:49 am
“It enters witout pants!”
Christ on a stick, this was amazingly funny.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:38 am
As so much I meant this guy (twice her age) is BONING HER!!!
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1292175/ Anyone else see these 2 on TMZ?!
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:31 am
This would have been better as the Herculoids topics page.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:15 am
seanbaby, never stop kicking ass. you complete me.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:13 am
i dislike seanbaby’s articles. i love herculoids.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:00 am
man, what r you talking about “your parent’s cartoons”?
i watched this as a kid and i’m 19 years old. And don’t have any son that i know of.
Oh, and the Herculoids are the SHIT!
oh yea nice article btw
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:56 am
I remember an episode when they used to play old shitty cartoons on Cartoon network in the late 90’s that had the hero/he-man rip off swinging from a vine for a good minute. The background behind him was whizzing by as he tried to make it to his allies….who were in a barren desert with not a tree in sight. The vine straightened out directly next to them in a clear wasteland.
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:50 am
I love you Sean.
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:43 am
Those cartoon/comic/caption things you do?
Always make me burst out into hysterical laughter.
“Let the Sex Harvest Begin!!!” I’m pretty sure something is going to happen to that poor boy in the short-shorts… but I can’t help laughing.
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:36 am
Hey, who the hell do you think they are, the Galaxy Trio? Show the herculoids some god damn respect!
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:31 am
“IT ENTERS WITHOUT PANTS!!!”
This is my new greeting.
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:29 am
@Can Man
Without being molested.
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:26 am
YEA LASER BEETLE
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:16 am
Take THAT you damn 60’s cartoon, too long has your bullshit gone unanswered!
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:11 am
Great Article. You had me laughing so hard this morning I had tears. What a great way to start my day. I grew up with these cartoons. I look forward to the Thundar review.
Great work!
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:10 am
I’ve been holding off for the last few posts in case I was wrong…
Seanbaby, don’t get me wrong, 80% of the time you are bang on the money….. but Jesus, you use some gay-baiting humour.
Isn’t that, like, the lowest common denominator in comedy? Kinda went out of fashion the better part of 30 years ago? It’s like you use it when you can’t think of an actual joke.
“Hmmm…. what’s a good analogy for Tundra’s hide? Umm…. err…. fuck it. An AIDS quilt for gay rhinos. Cos AIDS is hilarious.”
And before I get blasted, I am a heterosexual male avid reader. I just think its a cheap pop. Substitute ‘Gay Rhino’ with ‘Rhino Nigger’ and see how many people react. Using homo jokes as a crutch is probably best left to frat boys with half a keg in their stomach….
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:07 am
I always found the giant beanbag things a bit disturbing. Kind of like your alienated friend that is all distant and shy and that you fear that, someday, he’ll enter the room, machineguns blazing and dishing out death. I always feared the day the beanbags would go on a murderous rampage.
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:06 am
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September 3rd, 2009 at 6:59 am
I must admit to seeing some of the Herculoids when I was a kid and even then they sucked.
Thanks for a great giggle
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:53 am
I think my IQ just dropped a few points from learning about the herculoids.
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:47 am
Um. You used the word “unmolestedly.” That’s not a word, and I can’t even figure out what it is supposed to mean.
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:42 am
I was in the middle of a call with a customer while reading this. I got to the part where the laser beetles get their ass kicked, and I just completely lost it. I had to put them on hold just so I could stop laughing long enough to catch my breath. Great article. Loved it. Since I used to watch the Herculoids, it upped the humor considerably.
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:40 am
Meh, not your best work.
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:30 am
LOL!
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:26 am
You are one funny sombitch.
One of my favorite cartoons as a kid growing up you nailed every friggin’ fine point.
Bravo, sir.
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:21 am
“…raising a laser-susceptible child on the planet Amzot is like trying to breed penicillin inside Tila Tequila.”
Now that is freaking hilarious!
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:14 am
“Oh, of course, this makes sense.” Classic.
That family guy episode makes so much more sense now.
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:05 am
We always called them the Tuberculoids. It made us laugh.
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:52 am
omg, I have NEVER laughed so hard at a Cracked article! I grew up with the Herculoids, and got my son hooked on them! I would always make fun of them, but this article is SO spot on I can’t breathe!
THANK YOU!!!
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:28 am
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September 3rd, 2009 at 5:21 am
i love thursdays. seriously.
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:18 am
Around “Children watching, this is the most painful way to die!” Is when I started weeping with laughter. Fucking amazing.
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:01 am
I like the idea of Seanbaby talking about the Herculoids during sex. It amuses me.
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:55 am
I think I may have seen this show growing up, and was all, “Shit, that is TOO many lasers.” That is never something an 8 year old should think.
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:53 am
mehfag.
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:47 am
LOL. Nice.
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:46 am
Those comics may be the funniest thing I’ve ever read on this site. Rock on, Seanbaby.
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:42 am
Oh God, the Sex Harvesting. FIRST
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:40 am
brilliant
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:39 am
before the trolls and idiots start making comments im just gonna say one thing if you think you can do better go do it. cracked has contests just for that purpose. and if you have a comment you think is genuinly funny not a spell check or grammar check please make sure its funny first try it out on someone see if they laugh. if however you are just going to correct spelling save your self the trouble and dont do it. take satisfaction in the fact that you can spell and leave it at that.
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:35 am
believe it or not, i am actually masturbating to this right now
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:34 am
You know, I had started to wonder if I was the only person who remembered this tripped-out cartoon from childhood. It’s good to know that drugs haven’t affected me *that* badly yet.
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:33 am
I love you Seanbaby
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:33 am
PHEENOMINAL.
herculoids were in reruns by the time i was a kid. i remember this well, and it was just as retarded as you say.