Not everyone can write a best-selling novel or a box office success, but even the lowliest of us can interpret our favorite pieces of pop culture in baffling new ways. Usually, this just means disturbing fan fiction, but, as we've shown you before, fans all hopped up on Red Bull and insomnia will rewrite stories in such batshit brilliant ways that you can never look at the original in the same light again.
5Willy Wonka Is Secretly George Weasley From Harry Potter
This theory is so seemingly random, yet so full of parallels, that we almost believe that J.K. Rowling slipped in these connections on purpose. It goes way beyond that "they're both wacky characters who can sort of do magic."
Willy Wonka's backstory is purposely vague because there's really no adequate way to explain how one eccentric man acquired all the money and know-how to build and run his incredible chocolate factory. And that's not even mentioning the Oompa Loompas and the insane, body-altering effects of Wonka's candy. How can science even explain that? Well, according to one anonymous theory on TVTropes, it's magic -- specifically, it's the magic of Harry Potter troublemaker George Weasley.
Hagrid: "You're a candyman, Weasley."
The theory goes that, after the events of Harry Potter, George used wizard time-travel technology (that is, the Time-Turner, a device that is used once and never mentioned again) to go back and start a new life under a new identity. And don't give us any guff about all the Time-Turners being destroyed, Harry Potter nerds -- we both know that at least one is floating around the black market, assuming J.K. Rowling hasn't already retconned a few back in.
Why It's Not That Crazy:
Before George's brother Fred died (uh, spoiler?), the twins opened a successful toy and candy shop called Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes.
Because Fred insisted that alliteration was important.
One of their most popular items was the Skiving Snackbox, candy that would give you a temporary nosebleed or vomiting fit so you could get out of class. In other words, the Weasleys had mastered magic that lets candy physically alter a human being. Like, say, this:
Aside from their candy-making capabilities, there's also their physical similarities. They're both redheads with a showman's sense of fashion.
Who wore it better?
And then, there's this little aside Wonka makes to Mike Teavee:
"I said, 'IS THAT BLUEBERRY KID DEAD?!'"
Maybe Wonka's just being snarky ... or maybe it's a reference to the fact that George lost an ear battling Death Eaters. He may have been able to alter one of his Extendable Ears to serve as a prosthetic, but he couldn't repair all the actual hearing damage.
All the better to hear Charlie and Grandpa Joe burping in the next room.
Then, there are the Oompa Loompas, who are basically slaves who work for chocolate. In Wonka's relatively realistic world, they make no sense, and he dodges the question of their origins. But, in George's magical world, such creatures are commonplace. Hell, little orange men who work their hearts out for no reward are basically creepier house-elves. A resourceful wizard such as George could certainly rustle up a few magical followers.
Now, here's where it gets both oddly convincing and extremely sad. Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is such a weird film that you probably just took this in stride, but wasn't it creepy that everything in Wonka's office was chopped in half for no apparent reason? Well, maybe that's because George only considers himself half a man without his twin.
"It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! GOOD DAY, READER!"
Wonka's motivations look heartbreaking now. He's not just searching for an heir to his business -- he's looking to replace his dead brother. That's why he hates every kid except Charlie -- they're rich, stupid, and cruel, three qualities that members of the Weasley family don't share. The only reason Wonka doesn't show up at the Battle Of Hogwarts with an army of Oompa Loompas to "Avada Kedavra" Voldemort in the dick is because he found peace in his relationship with Charlie. We'll consider that happy and not creepy.
4The Joker Is Tyler Durden
Part of what made Heath Ledger's Joker so effective was his mystery. We still don't know a damn thing about where he came from or what his motivations were. All we can say for sure is that he had facial scars, a tremendous knowledge of demolitions, and the ability to build an army out of people who weren't concerned if their boss burned their paychecks. But, wait, we just described someone else you know: Fight Club's Tyler Durden.
Josh Campana Sr. of Moviepilot proposes that after Fight Club's narrator shot himself in the face, he ended up spending some time in Arkham Asylum. While in that less than therapeutic environment, his second personality re-emerged, but in a much more ominous form.
Why It's Not That Crazy:
It's never explicitly stated that the majority of Fight Club is set in Wilmington, Delaware, but that's where the zip code on Tyler's business card places it. And the location of Gotham City, according to most maps of the DC Universe, is pretty darn close to Delaware.
Damn that Charles!
And while Fight Club ends on a happy note, there's no way the narrator isn't going to super jail for committing a massive act of terrorism that almost certainly killed a bunch of people. And where but Arkham would you stick such a dangerous psychopath? That also gives us a simple explanation for the Joker's scars.
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Way more gangster than "Daddy did it."
Both Tyler and the Joker recruit weak-minded, aimless people into a pseudo-cult that commits incredibly precise criminal operations. They both have a penchant for "mischief." It's not hard to imagine the Joker splicing frames of porn into kids' movies on his day off, right? And then, there's the Joker-esque smiley face that Tyler fire-paints on the side of a skyscraper.
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Although that station is apparently run by the Fantastic Four, so maybe he's a Marvel villain.
That's why the Joker can shrug off vicious beatings from Batman despite being a scrawny little mofo -- he used to get punched in the face by big, angry men every night. Hell, this even accounts for the look of Jared Leto's new Joker in Suicide Squad. In Fight Club, Leto played Tyler's protege, and the two were so close that it made Tyler's other personality jealous to the point where Leto's character was beaten so badly ...
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"How bath ith iht?"
... that he became disfigured and probably needed some surgery and freaky steel teeth. And those go perfectly with the brain trauma that inspired him to copy his idol's second persona.
"Who's laughing now? Me! Because of all my 'HA' tattoos! Get it?? Yeah, you get it ... "
The only difference is motivation -- Tyler hates consumerism, while the Joker wants to prove that, deep down, everyone is as crazy as he is. But, it's not hard to imagine that, after some time in Arkham, Tyler's beliefs went down an even darker path. Tyler wanted the world to reject capitalism by wiping out America's credit card debt. The Joker just went a step further by burning actual money.
Try playing "Where Is My Mind?" over this.