You literally cannot believe your eyes anymore. If it's not Photoshopped, it's CGI'd or otherwise manipulated. So your loopy aunt can be forgiven for Facebooking that picture of a smiling sun with a bunch of geese forming a smiley face in front of it and calling it "irrefutable proof that God exists." It would be less forgivable if she, say, got the authorities involved somehow. It would be even less forgivable if the cops actually showed up and started seriously investigating it. Like the time ...
6British Police Raided a Man's House Because of Toys
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The small town of Tewkesbury, England, doesn't see a lot of action, so it's understandable that local police got excited when somebody reported that resident Ian Driscoll had changed his Facebook profile photo to an image of a man surrounded by a cache of deadly, illegal assault weapons. Most chilling: featured in the background of the photo was a mortar, a long-range, military-grade bomb launcher.
Concerned that Driscoll was England's answer to Timothy McVeigh, police sent an army of officers, two of whom were even armed (England has a slightly different gun culture than the U.S. does) to Driscoll's home with a search warrant and orders to demand, "What's all this 'ere then?" and shake their truncheons at him if things got out of hand.
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"You are hereby fined 50 threepenny bits, and no crumpets with your tea for 30 days."
Of course, the problem is pretty obvious if you so much as glance at the photo at the center of the controversy:
High-rise jeans? That monster.
Oh wow, there's the mortar all right. It's huge. Even bigger than the five-foot monolithic PlayStation and gargantuan remote. What does that control, the sky?! Plus, look at the man's glassy-eyed stare and the fascist, military discipline of that German shepherd. This is serious business. Or it would be if everything in that photo was not clearly just a toy.
Driscoll was confused at first when officers showed up at this door, but like all good boys with a serious toy collection, he was all too happy to show them his arsenal. Here's the mortar:
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"But how do we know Mr. Driscoll isn't simply 75 feet tall?"
After deciding that Driscoll did not pose a threat to Toyland, everyone had a good laugh together over tea and biscuits, which is what the British call literally every food over there. The police defended their actions, saying that it's better they investigate all possible threats than to risk the community by not taking action at all. Which is probably a PR-friendly way of saying, "This town is seriously boring, and we just wanted to check out that dude's sweet toy collection."
5Dan Aykroyd Was Mistaken for a Serial Killer
When a Calgary landfill worker dug up a segment of film that appeared to depict a man standing over a bloody corpse, he thought he'd stumbled upon the buried trophy of a killer who had a thing for filming his murders.
Which will technically be true once Ghostbusters 3 gets off the ground.
The police launched an investigation, but it was difficult, due to the fact that the film had spent decades wasting away in a landfill. Investigators were eventually able to clean up the blurry image enough to make the face of the killer somewhat recognizable.
After passing the touched-up image around, somebody, whom we like to think was a starry-eyed police intern, commented that the killer looked kind of like a young Dan Aykroyd. And also that he appears to be wearing a badge. Investigators did some hard research (read: they spent the afternoon surfing IMDb for Dan Aykroyd cop movies that weren't Dragnet) and eventually concluded that the image was actually a scene from the 1990 buddy-cop movie Loose Cannons, starring Aykroyd and Gene Hackman.
"I once was on a mission from God, but he has since forsaken me."
If you don't remember it, you're not alone -- the film was such a huge bomb that, instead of being distributed to cinemas around the world, many of the film reels were just tossed in the garbage, where they prompted this brief murder investigation. But the only true victim here was cinema. As Aykroyd later said of the discovery, "The movie should have been left in the landfill where it belongs."
Shockingly, "split personality = guy doing Bullwinkle voice" did not seduce the Oscar voters.