#2. How Would the New Season of Arrested Development Look in Order?
The above headline probably doesn't sound all that impressive unless you've actually seen the Netflix-only fourth season of Arrested Development. The 15 episodes were released simultaneously and take place at the same time, each episode following the events through the eyes of a different character. The whole thing forms one huge, labyrinthine meta-joke full of intersecting storylines and callbacks that would probably need six viewings to untangle.
"So she's about to blow up Herman Cain, who gets a check that we find out is ACTUALLY royalties for her daughter,
who's coincidentally in the next room where asarglebarglegoopeldeygoo."
Of course, only the most passionate and/or deranged fan would watch the entire season that many times. And only one fan would get the urge to load all eight hours or so into editing software and rearrange every scene to put it all together chronologically, either for science or to be able to watch it while stoned and not get confused, whatever their motives may be.
A Reddit user named morphinapg did just that and then uploaded the "fixed" season online. He wound up with 12 distinct episodes, now told in chronological order, culminating in the finale of "Cinco de Cuatro." The episodes vary in length, from a standard 21-minute show to a full hour-long feature. Oh, and get this: morphinapg didn't just splice these episodes together over the course of a year, fiddling around with it in his spare time -- that would be rookie shit right there. No, morphinapg had all of the episodes in the correct order and ready for download a week after release.
Places with shitty Internet couldn't download the series within a week.
Yep, most of us weren't even through watching the new season in the time it took him to take the whole thing apart, scene by scene, just so we could see how the story would work when everything was lined up in sequence. And it was all worth it, because he was rewarded by having the entire thing immediately yanked off the Internet. Since, you know, the whole endeavor violates every copyright law known to man. It's not everyone who gets the kind of cooperation from the creators that we have in this next entry ...
#1. Who's the One Person Who Knows More About Game of Thrones Than the Author Himself?
George R.R. Martin's epic A Song of Ice and Fire series, now more commonly known as Game of Thrones or A Lesson in Never Getting Attached to Fictional Characters, is one of the most remarkable fantasy series ever told. Naturally, the books and the HBO show have become prime breeding grounds for exhaustive works of super fandom, such as this elaborate interactive map of everything that has ever happened in the TV show.
Meanwhile, vast swaths of Africa and whole Australian provinces remain uncharted.
That is the handiwork of one Ser Mountain Goat, and with Ser Goat's map, you can track any episode or chapter and find out where the characters were at the time. Pretty cool, to be sure, but when it comes to knowledge of the series, all must bow down to Elio Garcia, who literally knows more about Martin's world than anyone else alive, including Martin.
That's right -- while it's not surprising that Martin's epic has spawned fan websites (even exhaustive ones like Garcia's Westeros.org), what's remarkable is that when George R.R. Martin wants to know some detail about the ASoIaF universe, he fucking asks Garcia. By virtue of having maintained an exhaustive database of every single character, location, and event in the series over the last 17 years, he's become the man Martin calls when he's forgotten some element of his own goddamned story:
"[Martin calls] when [he] has an idea and he wants to make sure that he hasn't used this character before, or he hasn't mentioned this particular detail previously, because he doesn't want to contradict himself or trap himself."
Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
Martin still hasn't read past Book 3.
Just think about that for a moment. That's like God manifesting himself in front of a marine biologist because he's forgotten how many legs go on a squid. And you know who else relies on Garcia's expertise? The producers of the HBO series (although their questions probably revolve around whether a female character's breasts are described in detail in the novels, or if they're free to leave it up to the horny dudes in casting).
Josh wants to be your BFF on Facebook.